Maxine arrives...somewhere, to find one of her former DCF charges sitting...somewhere, with his skateboard. He's been accused of shoplifting from a local department store and called her to bail him out. Maxine is all cranky because she didn't get to finish breakfast. Okay, first of all, what kind of department store opens so early that one can attempt to shoplift, be caught, and make a phone call to one's former DCF caseworker, all before breakfast? Department stores open at ten, generally. I know this. I am a champion shopper. This entire set-up is bullshit. Let's call it "Not Particularly Creative License" Moment One. Oh, and another thing: The kid? It's Chip, from Kate & Allie. Allie's going to be pissed about this, Chip. Chip tells Maxine that he's fifteen now (which he so is not. According to the IMDB, he's 25) and out of foster care and living with his no longer alcoholic dad. And his mother is still dead. Allie's dead? Poor Chip. Oh, and Chip? Thanks for the exposition there. Maxine wonders why Chip called her, and not his father. Chip says that Maxine was "always straight with [him], back in the day." Chip is full of remorse about the stealing thing. Maxine promises to put a good word in for him with the police, but warns him that if she finds out he's been stealing other stuff, the police will be the least of his worries.
Newspaper office. Snarly Bald Editor Dude tells Vincent that "the vice president of the chamber of commerce got whacked last night in a car-jacking." Vincent is dismayed. He's also one fine piece of man candy in a snug black thermal. SBED tells Vincent that "the money shot" is that the man happened to be wearing women's clothing when the entire thing went down. Maybe I'm just picky tonight, but who wrote this episode? I'd like, first of all, to ask who on earth talks like SBED? Second, if the victim is a respected member of the Hartford community, and a prominent member of the Chamber of Commerce, who was also secretly a cross-dresser, what was he doing driving around town in a dress? Wouldn't he, oh, you know, try to confine the cross-dressing to his home, where no one could find out, and cause scandal and heartbreak for his family? I'm calling this Not Particularly Creative License Moment Number Two. Sadly, there will be more. The SBED finishes his run-down of the Cross-Dressing Case by telling Vincent that "the guy's a militant homo-hater." Vincent smiles his half-smile. "Wow," saith he. He says he'll start on the story by talking to the cops. SBED calls Vincent back into his office and tells him that what he really needs is a quote from the widow, talking about the clothes. Vincent wonders why she'd be willing "to talk to [him] about that." SBED snaps that Vincent is "going to charm her in spilling her guts and [he's] going to write it up and get it to [SBED] yesterday." Vincent stares at SBED blankly. SBED claps his hands and tells Vincent "they don't have all day." Vincent stumbles out. SBED goes back to Central Casting, where he sits under a little sign reading "Gruff, Foul-Mouthed Newspaper Men."