The next morning, Peter chases Maxine all over the house, whining about the fact the she kept her day trading scandal a secret from him. God, he's annoying. He asks her why she told Vincent -- "who barely has a checking account in his own name" -- instead of him. Why? WHHHHHHHHY? Peter: Shut. UP! Maxine snippily tells him that she needed empathy, not help. She and Peter argue about her finances: House as only asset, none of your business, retirement fund, none of your business, taxes, none of your business. Maxine finally shuts him the hell up by telling him that she's a "grown-up women with all of [her] faculties and most of [her] teeth" (hee hee) and that he ought to just shut up. Big, freaking WORD.
Halls of Justice. The bailiff tells Amy and Bruce that they're going to have to wait a bit, because the court reporter needed to "step away for a minute." Turns out their usual court reporter is out, and they have a substitute, Ian Janikowski. The instant Ian's name passes the bailiff's lips, Donna, over in her corner (okay -- my endless devotion and props in the next recap will go to whomever can tell me what, exactly, her job is), gasps. She scampers over to Amy and explains that "Ian Janikowski is the worst. Everybody hates him. Such a diva. He tried to run me over in the parking lot -- " Amy cuts Donna off, as the aforementioned Ian enters the courtroom. He is wearing an ascot. Never a good sign, unless your name is either Jeeves or Wooster. He explains that his brief absence was due to "irritable bowel syndrome. I have no control." Oh, Jesus. David E Kelley didn't write this, correct? Because we're already got OCD and now we have quirky court employees with toilet issues. If Amy's nose starts whistling, I'm handing this over to Pamie or Gwen, because I taped the wrong show. Amy excuses Ian. Bruce looks disgusted, possibly because he's had one word so far this episode. As Amy gets the trial started, Donna leans over and calls Ian a liar. Ian leans right over into her personal space. "Yeah?" he says, "see you in the parking lot!" Yeah, okay, I laughed. It was funny.