Back at The Ranch, the kids are making dinner. Dorky Older Brother Peter steps right into a tin of water. Amy, Peter, and Peter's uberWASP wife, Gillian, start complaining about the house in general -- the roof, the paint, the water pressure. I don't know what Amy did to her hair between the Halls of Justice and The Ranch, but it was barely even wavy at work and now it looks like she stuck her finger in a socket. Peter is whining and whining and whining about how the state of the house is totally unacceptable and asks "What is up with Mom?" My darling boy Vincent trots down the stairs and suggests, in a tone that indicates that he wishes they would all just drop it, that maybe she doesn't have the money to fix it all. Peter is sure she has the money. Amy says that Maxine has a hard time spending money on herself. Gillian hypothesizes that maybe she wants to hoard her money so that she'll have plenty to live on after she retires. Vincent, in his "Shut UP" tone, says he doesn't think that's the issue. Peter says, again, that she has plenty of money, and that he "just [has] to talk to her."
Vincent looks up from cutting red bell peppers, looks Peter right in the eye and says, "Once again, maybe she doesn't have the money," like, how dense is Peter? "She has the money," Peter The Clueless says. "No, actually, she. Doesn't. Not that much, at least," Vincent says, clearly annoyed and amazed by the high incidence of dumb-assity present in his immediate family. The Dumb-Asses wonder what happened to the money that Maxine got when Father Gray died. Vincent explains that when Maxine got into her Internet phrase (before she went back to working for DCF), "she wasn't visiting chat rooms, she was dabbling in the stock market." Peter is shocked and dismayed, both that Maxine lost the life insurance money, and that she told Vincent instead of him. Maxine enters the house just in time to hear Peter call her stupid. Vincent apologizes for spilling the beans. Maxine tells all of them that her personal financial affairs are none of their business, asks them not to set a place for her at dinner, and stomps up to her room in a huff. Peter looks irritated. Vincent looks like he'd like to dig a hole in the ground and pull the dirt in after him. He's also wearing a gray tee shirt, which nicely accentuates his pecs.
The next morning, Peter chases Maxine all over the house, whining about the fact the she kept her day trading scandal a secret from him. God, he's annoying. He asks her why she told Vincent -- "who barely has a checking account in his own name" -- instead of him. Why? WHHHHHHHHY? Peter: Shut. UP! Maxine snippily tells him that she needed empathy, not help. She and Peter argue about her finances: House as only asset, none of your business, retirement fund, none of your business, taxes, none of your business. Maxine finally shuts him the hell up by telling him that she's a "grown-up women with all of [her] faculties and most of [her] teeth" (hee hee) and that he ought to just shut up. Big, freaking WORD.