Foot Chase

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 2 USERS: A
Best Foot Forward

Boyd, not too thrilled with their mutual grossiration society, makes noises about leaving, but Shelby says if he won't talk about Josiah, maybe there's another case he'd like to discuss. "Ellen May. Haven't seen her lately!" As I said in the recaplet, I LOVE Shelby making this play in front of Raylan when he's got Ellen May safe at his house; the fact that Boyd actually did try to kill her only makes it more delicious. Shelby's serious threatening to elbow his way into my top five favorite characters here. Raylan, his amusement fading, asks if, in fact, Boyd did something to Ellen May, adding that he "liked" her, but Boyd ignores his use of the past tense to tell him that Josiah is probably dead, pointedly adding, "That's what assholes do, Raylan. They get old and die from bein' assholes!" We certainly have had our share of asshole philosophies this season; you might say everyone's got one, even if they don't all stink. Anyway, all this lovely discussion is put to an end by the appearance of Gable, who orders Shelby to, if there are no charges, uncuff Boyd right now. Raylan asks why she's stalling Arlo's deal, but she claims not to know what he's talking about before hustling Boyd out of there. I wonder if he's going to peel off another couple hundreds from that roll for this service.

Back at the whorehouse, Johnny finds "Teri," the girl whose tongue is on probation, and when he sees the state of her face, he demands to know who hit her. When she tells him it was a customer, he insists she tell him who it was, and although she hesitates for a long time -- understandably, since whatever Johnny's going to do will make her wounds undetectable by comparison -- she fingers a "Max," her Tuesday night regular. She then gets up, leaving Johnny to stew...

...and now it's time to check in with Josiah, who, while still alive and compos mentis, looks about the color you'd expect of someone who's lost enough blood to satisfy your hungrier vampires. Also, his stump is well visible, which is just lovely. His one captor, who grosses me out more than anything else in this episode by cutting his toenails with scissors, is unimpressed with Josiah's attempts to tell him he's not the man whoever hired him is seeking, and then his partner comes in complaining that all the blood isn't coming out, and as such has ruined his fugly van. He gets me on his side for a moment by going on to bitch about the toenails going all over his garage, but then Josiah distracts him by asking for some water. When the guy brings it to him, he notes that Josiah doesn't look so good, prompting Josiah to reply, "Course I don't look so good. I'm dying here, asshole!" I hope I'm that crotchety when my number's coming up. It's pretty inspirational.

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