Justified
Justified

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 189 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Slit For Splat

...and then she's lying on the bed, with him calling a reminder to keep her eyes closed. We see him approaching the bed wearing a bear suit, and when he tells her to open her eyes, he raises his paws over his head and roars. Ellen May's response is to grab a gun from a shelf next to her and fire off no fewer than five shots, none of which appear to hit him anywhere vital, at least. On the other hand, the costume store sure isn't giving him his deposit back. As the guy writhes and moans on the floor, still in the damn bear suit, Ellen May continues to hyperventilate like the absolute moron she is...

...while Bob is leading Raylan into Arlo's place, explaining that he installed a motion detector that sends him a text every time it picks something up. Raylan asks how much that's costing him, so he's got Bob looking after the place, which would be more touching if he weren't likely doing it in case Arlo tried anything. Of course, having seen the rest of the episode, it's hard to give Raylan a hard time for that. When Raylan sees the size of the hole the kids made, he sighs that he's not "gonna cover that up with the smell of bakin' cookies," and then Bob talks about how if he'd caught the kids, he would have "opened a Costco-size can a whup-ass on 'em," and given that we saw Bob decline even to chase the kids in his car, I think we can be pretty sure that Bob hasn't risen past the rank of constable for reasons different than he thinks. The ensuing conversation gives further evidence of Bob's blowhard nature while establishing that these two have known each other at least since high school, but we sooner have more important things on which to focus, as Raylan gets the bag out of the wall. In it, he doesn't find any drugs, but does find a Kentucky driver's license for a "Waldo Truth," of Versailles, issued in 1979. He looks at Bob, but Bob merely shrugs...

Justified

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