Justified
Justified

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A | 170 USERS: B+
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Of Carrots and Sticks and Big Ol' Snakes

If Timothy Olyphant played Wynn Duffy, he would no doubt be my absolute favorite character on this show. Or probably any show, really. Well, if Timothy Olyphant played Wynn Duffy on Sons of Anarchy I would probably keel over dead from the TV stiffy I would have. MAKE THIS HAPPEN, FX. And if you have to have Walter Goggins play a cross-dressing prostitute on the same episode, well, I would die and go straight to TV watching heaven. All this is to say that even though Wynn Duffy made it very clear last week that he had no interest in doing business with Boyd and the Harlan County JV Goon Squad, Johnny Crowder is sitting in his trailer seeking an audience. Boyd didn't send him, though. Johnny is trying to make a deal of his own. Turns out that Johnny still holds quite the grudge against his cousin. He blames Boyd for putting him in the wheelchair, even though it was Boyd's daddy who pulled the trigger. Seems Johnny viewed himself as the heir apparent to the hillbilly empire and doesn't think that it's fair that Boyd should come out on top. This isn't Wynn's first time at a Crowder dance though and doesn't think he can trust Johnny. Johnny has an idea of how to lay a foundation of trust and friendship, though: He'll kill Boyd.

Speaking of Boyd, he still has a man with an eighth of a snake attached to his face laid out on his pool table like Sunday supper. Colt has managed to find a doctor, but for some reason Boyd refuses to send the man to an ER, even though the doc promises to say he found him on the side of the road. Is there something I'm missing about this? Is there mandatory reporting of snake bites like there is for bullet wounds at hospitals? Or is it just such a small town that a snake to the face would get around and the St. Cyr siblings would know that their snakes got the best of Boyd? Whatever the reason, Boyd tells the doctor just to go ahead and rip the snake out. This is all highly unnecessary, but very effectively gross.

Raylan and Tim have made their way to the widow's house, but she isn't expecting them, even though she's a psychic and should have known. I am not an especially quick-witted person when it comes to off-the-cuff talking, but the one time I did manage it, I was walking down the street when a woman stopped me and asked if I knew the way to the Psychic Convention at the Convention Center. I stopped, cocked my head and asked, "Don't YOU know?" She didn't think it was funny, though, and I felt bad and gave her directions. Anyway. Raylan didn't bother reading the woman's file, so he has no idea what Tim is talking about, which is that the "certified spiritualist" has been accused of fraud numerous times. The woman seems surprised that Drew could still be alive, but she's more interested in the fact that Raylan has "so much death around him" and is convinced that he is going to go meet some bad man later. Raylan scoffs that he meets bad men all the time, but then the psychic (whose name is Eve, by the by) adds that he's a weightlifter or a fighter and stops Raylan short. He confesses to Tim that he's going to meet Lindsey's ex-husband at the boxing gym later. Just as Tim is about to lay into Raylan and his poor decision making skills, a mysterious black town car pulls up and starts idling outside Eve's house. While in New York an idling black town car is as common as an angry bodega cat, in Kentucky this causes everyone to fly into panic mode. Eve locks herself in the half bath and Raylan goes out to confront the man while Tim holds point. Turns out the man is an FBI agent, he gets invited in, but Eve isn't waiting around to find out what this is all about. She hoists herself out the bathroom window and then gets kidnapped at fist point as she attempts to flee through the backyard. It was a surprising turn of events and really well done. The marshals and agent have no idea that she's gone and only once they call the all clear do they realize she's AWOL, but they still have no idea that she's been kidnapped.

Justified

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