Justified
Truth and Consequences

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A | 3 USERS: A-
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Of Carrots and Sticks and Big Ol' Snakes

Boyd drives back to his Evil Empire HQ to alert his musclemen that the carrot didn't work and they will need to use the stick. So he sends two of his men to scare off the preacher into someone else's backyard. In the dark of night they enter the church with guns loaded. The darkness may have masked their breaking and entering, but it also hid the fact that the preacher and his sister apparently believe in free-range snakes. The entire tent is liberally littered with the lil biters. One guy goes down after several rascally reptiles take umbrage at the fact that he is stepping on their tails and firing at their heads. The snake to the face is just God's way of waving a Don't Tread On Me flag. He shoots the body clean off the snake as he collapses on the ground.

Colt brings his ill-fated musclin' buddy back to Boyd's ASAP with the poor snake's head still attached to the guy's face. They lay him down on the pool table as Boyd barks orders about finding a doctor. Johnny, who knows where to find emergency help, is currently missing in action and not answering his phone, so it falls to newcomer Colt to track down a doctor with a stash of anti-venin.

In Raylan's continuing quest to make bad life choices, he decides to head down to Randall's gym to confront him with a bunch of information that would make a lesser, smarter or slightly less thick-headed man hightail it to the hills or, in this case, Florida. After Raylan ascertains that Randall is really down on his luck and living out of his gym locker, he decides to go ahead and kick him while he's down. He tells Randall that Lindsay told him all about their life of crime together and his new solo career as an illegal cage fighter. Not being the subtlest man to ever wear a white hat, Raylan makes sure that Randall is aware that when Lindsay was spilling the details of their crime spree, she was snuggled up in bed with everybody's favorite deputy marshal. If that wasn't enough, to earn Raylan a punch in the face, he gives Randall a deadline of 6 p.m. to get out of town or else Raylan will alert his parole officer to the fact that Randall is out of Florida and then have him arrested and sent to jail. Randall isn't especially impressed by Raylan's threat to call his P.O. and instead sets his own deadline to put a limp in Raylan's "Gary Cooper walk" at 6 PM. It's not stated, but it is implied that this will occur behind the bleachers or else everyone's getting swirlies.

Back at the office, Raylan accidentally walks in on Rachel getting a dressing down by Art. Seems she took a page out of Raylan's playbook and went to apprehend a violent fugitive all on her lonesome without ever calling for backup. She rightfully points out that Raylan pulls that malarkey all the time and never gets written up for it, which Art agrees is true, but explains that he's given up on Raylan as a lost cause and still has some hope for Rachel. She walks out shaking her head with Art giving Raylan a dirty look for his bad influence. Art tells Raylan that he found Drew Thompson's widow. Just as a reminder, Drew Thompson is the guy who we thought was a human pancake up until the last episode, when it turned out the poor soul covering the pavement many years ago was an out-of-luck dude desperate to escape his fairly frightening family. Drew Thompson is alive and well, but still missing -- taking with him the mystery of the diplomatic mail pouch, which sounds like one of the lesser Hardy Boy books. We'll let it slide. Turns out Drew's widow remarried to get out of the limelight after her husband's face plant. Art wants Raylan and Tim to head over to her house to see her reaction to the news that her husband is not dead. Art also tells Raylan that he found out that Drew Thompson was a witness in a sealed government investigation. He's trying to find out the details of the case, but Raylan should ask the widow if she knows. Then they talk about Art's "marshal stiffy" for a while and I just can't even.

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Justified

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