Karen walks down the corridor of a jail while fire rages in the background. Huh? I don't know. I do like her outfit, though. It's a typical Karen Sisco pencil skirt with tank top and heels. As Karen walks toward the camera, a crusty old guy voices-over, "Boys, a man learns a lot in a lifetime. He learns about destiny, opportunity. What he learns is that destiny is a lady who waits on no man. And that opportunity is what you take while destiny is sleeping on the job." Music kicks in while we cut to the speaker: an old man wearing sunglasses and an orange prison jumpsuit. Old Man says that he's going to give the boys to whom he's speaking a chance to steal history and make it at the same time. He concludes, "What we're talking about, boys...is a heist." But why was Karen walking through fire in a prison? I guess that was just to hook in the male viewers in the first few minutes. They saw boobs and heard the word "heist." Now they're hooked.
Cut to Danny DeVito watching four televisions at the same time. A subtitle informs us that DeVito is playing Charlie Lucre, alleged crime boss. If he's so rich, why would he have be watching four TVs at the same time? Why wouldn't he just have four TiVos? I guess that wouldn't be an impressive visual. Anyway, Old Man voices over that Lucre is "the mark -- a pigeon in a private home," and that he doesn't have an alarm system, so it'll be easy. The score is "a little white ball," and the camera swoops over to show a glass case containing a baseball autographed by Babe Ruth, which the Old Man says is worth "an estimated three million dollars." Cut to the outside of the house, which a subtitle informs us is known as "Casa Lucre," located in Miami, Florida. They put quotation marks around the name of the house, which seems unnecessary. The camera does a quick-pan over to a van parked across the street, and then we go inside it. A subtitle lets us know that this is an FBI Surveillance Unit on Day 1094. One of the agents complains that his ass is killing him, and the other says he didn't join the FBI for this crap. I can think of worse things than being paid to sit in a van and watch monitors while drinking coffee and doing a crossword puzzle, but maybe that's just me.
Old Man voice-overs that this job will be like taking candy from a baby. The camera turns to show that the Old Man has been talking to two of his fellow prisoners. One of them says that they can't break out of prison to do this job, because they only have six months left on their sentence. Old Man tells them that destiny doesn't wear a watch. One con (played by Kevin Dillon) turns to the other (played by Billy Burke) and says that Homer (formerly Old Man) is right. He continues, "One minute, you're flying high above the clouds. The next minute, your band's private jet crashes into a local field, killing your singer and your lead guitarist." The two men look at each other and smile and then tell Homer, "Lynyrd Skynyrd." The music -- which had been playing softly in the background -- gets loud enough that you can tell it's "Freebird." Kevin Dillon says that they will get enough money so that they can buy their mother a double-wide trailer. So they're brothers. And they're white trash. Got it.