Fall Pilot Season: Kath & Kim

by Lauren Gitlin October 10, 2008
Kath & Kim Premiere

Kath tells Phil to go out to the car while she says goodbye to Kim. As Phil leaves, Kath asks a mopey Kim if she wants her to tell her where she hid the Pecan Sandies. Kim sinks to the floor and says that she'll just sit here with her dreams in the trash.

Next we see Phil and Kath in their restaurant, and the camera pans over to Kim, who's unsurprisingly finagled her way into their special dinner. She asks for more fried wontons, whining that she's still hungry. Phil chimes in to say that back when he was Big Phil, he loved his fried wontons and his pizza and his pie. Kath explains to Kim that Phil lost 200 lbs. This seems to marginally impress Kim, who asks if he has any pictures of himself as a load. Kath mouths to a mock-innocent Kim that she's being a dick, as Phil admits that there is, in fact, a picture of him at the all-you-can-eat Denny's, and that he keeps asking them to take it down. But, he says, he'll live to fight another day on the beaches of France! This makes Kath giggle and Kim make a face, like, "Who the eff are these two dumb losers?"

Kim calls the waiter over and asks him to send over some dumplings to the cute guy at the next table, who is clearly on a date. Kath asks what she thinks she's doing, and Kim explains that she's back on the market. Kath informs her that he appears to be with someone, to which Kim replies, "So what? I'm married."

Phil, resigned, throws up his hands and says that this is as good a time as any, and gets down on one knee to propose to Kath. "Kathay," he begins, "There's something I'd like to... propose to you." He's interrupted by the waiter, who comes to inform Kim that the woman whose date she sent the dumplings to is going to cut her throat if she doesn't back off. Indignant, Kim says that this is the reason she quit high school. "Because of jealous BITCHES like that," and jumps out of her seat, affecting a pose that appears to be a threat to the woman at the table. Kath tells her to sit down and zip her lip, and Kim goes back to sulking, saying "Thanks for ruining my night now."

Back at the homestead the next day, Kim is at her laptop in the kitchen and Kath breezes in in a leopard-print nightie. Barely looking up, Kim asks if she heard that cat wailing last night. Kath says no, and Phil strides in wearing a short bathrobe with the same print as Kath's nightgown, asking if this "tired soldier" can get a cup of joe. Kim jumps up, grossed out when she realizes that those noises weren't the cat. Kath's like, "That's right -- we had a night of passion, and I'm not gonna be ashamed about it." Kim says she's going to be sick and Kath counters that maybe she wouldn't have to feel sick if she went back to Craig. Phil says he needs to hit the Island, and Kath asks if they're still on for sushi. Kim inserts herself into the conversation, saying "Sushi sounds good!" Kath gives her a withering look, which she doesn't seem at all aware of.

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