Food, Fashion and Fighting. What More Could You Want? Trophies?
Tim Gunn does a John Frieda pimpmercial. Kathy bitches about George Clooney ruining the goodie bag free-for-all. She shows off her free gift bag from "Uncle Jack's Steakhouse." Its filled with knives. I'd eat there.
Some blonde girl gives away a fashion award. I think she's a model, but she's fidgety and wearing a really, short skirt and using big "scripted" words and making fun of Judah Friedlander. Anna Sui wins the award, she thanks her fans and her parents... I think she's under the impression that this is like a real awards show where you are supposed to give speeches and be inspirational and such. I tuned out during her speech the first time, but it definitely felt longer in person, though if they cut it, I couldn't actually tell, you how. So much for the insider information.
Now the first Billy Eichner segment which starts with him saying, "You're probably gay or a woman because you are watching the first annual A-List Awards." He hit that demographic on the head. Then man on the street where he gets bored with his first interview, talks to a guy who is in love with Casey Affleck and an older woman who loves Meryl Streep and Billy shares his irrational exuberance about Mamma Mia. This becomes a recurring theme for him. Some guy with a Mohawk and an attitude makes my night when asked about Fergie singing a song in the Sex and the City movie, "so that makes her so special." Exactly, random guy. I'll come buy bootleg DVDs or whatever you're selling sometime. Rejects from the Legally Blonde reality show then giddily scream about the awards and their love of Kathy Griffin. Billy rightly screams back at them and runs away. Best. Interview. Ever.
Kathy's back, in a new dress that has a strange print. She introduces the Real Housewives of The O.C. who talk about how hot they are as they give away the "Drama Queen Award." Tila Tequila wins. I still don't understand what it is that she actually does. She's shorter than the microphone. She still doesn't know if she's straight or gay, but her printed dress is more hideous than Kathy's. She talks about girls sticking their tongue down her throat randomly. I have no words. Kathy sums it up beautifully when she comes out and congratulates her and then rolls her eyes to the audience. The Real Housewives of New York come out and join the O.C. gals and make fake nice. I realize now that the one who I thought was Ramona isn't. Ramona and some other blonde woman argue back and forth about who does nothing with their lives better and then they give out the "Drama King Award." This fittingly goes to the bitchtastic Christian Siriano, though Evil Dick would have been deserving as well. Blonde woman pronounces Christian's last name wrong. He's also shorter than the microphone. He gives a blissfully short "speech" and we're done with the whole Housewives faux feud. Thank god.