Food, Fashion and Fighting. What More Could You Want? Trophies?
Margaret Cho does her Runway stomp to the stage. She claims it is her favorite show because "it is just fags and fag hags fighting and that's all I want to see." Brilliant. But Christian doesn't look amused and he fixes his hair. Margaret does a dead on Heidi Klum impression. Tron Guy loves it. Then talks inappropriately (of course) about how Michael Kors affects her sexually and she calls him a bitchy tangerine. I'm actually shocked that this made it past the censors. Glad, but surprised. She's giving away the "Funny Award." Simple enough. Rainn Wilson beats Sarah Silverman. Bummer. He couldn't make it because he's on a beach getting a tan.
They introduce presenters Dina and Ali Lohan. Turns out that the fame whores were too busy to show up, so Kathy pretty much rips them a new one. She's jealous of Dina Lohan because she didn't have a momager like Dina and she wishes she had a hip hop CD. If Ali can, why can't Kathy. So Kathy has her new hip hop duet with Lance Bass. Did I mention she's got on a hot little black outfit with a green jacket. She strips off the jacket and then Lance pulls a Justin and rips her tank top exposing her boobs (I imagine Billy Eichner is excited to see this). She blames him, saying it was his idea. To retaliate, she strips off his pants and exposes little Lance to the world. Of course this is all blurred... count your blessings.
Rocco Dispirito is forced to give away the "A-List Restaurant Award." He's not happy that he didn't make the list. Rocco, don't fret, you are pretty and a cheflebrity and that goes a long way. I might actually be able to afford to eat at your restaurants while I'd have to chop off a limb to afford these others. Daniel Boulud (who I only know from Top Chef) wins. Thanks people. Then he's done.
Up next is Caroline Rhea. I first thought she had gotten really fat since she'd stopped hosting The Biggest Loser. Turns out she's pregnant. Oops! She's fine and her extra hormones are really delighted to be giving away the "Rear of the Year Award." This is officially my favorite category. I don't know what the plans are for next years award show, but they need to bring this one back. Caroline informs the winner that she's supposed to make out with him. Gilles Marini, who has a big role in the Sex and the City movie makes Caroline happy by giving her a big lipsmack. He gives a very gracious acceptance speech and seems to be overwhelmed by the experience. So sweetly oblivious. Love it.
Kathy comes out and does her "In Memoriam" tribute to the people who are now dead to her. On the list are her usual suspects: Ryan Seacrest, Dr. Phil, Mrs. Phil, Scientology, George W. Bush. I feel like there were more, or she talked more or something, but I really lacked the foresight to take notes on this while I was there. Guess I know for next time.