From her crouched over position, Kathy introduces Padma and brutalizes her last name. Padma thinks Tom got off easy. Agreed. The hostess is giving out the John Frieda Beauty Icon Award to Lauren Hutton. There's a long clip about the gap in her tooth and how she never changed it even though she was told to like a million different times. I fast forward through this because I'm dying to see if they were able to make Hutton's acceptance speech into anything remotely intelligible, or if they left it as is and she looks like a raving lunatic.
And the winner is: raving lunatic! Yay! But they did cut it. I can't remember her exact words, but I feel like there were more politics involved somewhere. Still, we get to see her stroking the big head, joking about being "80" and nearly falling over. So that's something. Padma pretty much carries her off to the wings.
Margaret Cho does her Runway stomp to the stage. She claims it is her favorite show because "it is just fags and fag hags fighting and that's all I want to see." Brilliant. But Christian doesn't look amused and he fixes his hair. Margaret does a dead on Heidi Klum impression. Tron Guy loves it. Then talks inappropriately (of course) about how Michael Kors affects her sexually and she calls him a bitchy tangerine. I'm actually shocked that this made it past the censors. Glad, but surprised. She's giving away the "Funny Award." Simple enough. Rainn Wilson beats Sarah Silverman. Bummer. He couldn't make it because he's on a beach getting a tan.
They introduce presenters Dina and Ali Lohan. Turns out that the fame whores were too busy to show up, so Kathy pretty much rips them a new one. She's jealous of Dina Lohan because she didn't have a momager like Dina and she wishes she had a hip hop CD. If Ali can, why can't Kathy. So Kathy has her new hip hop duet with Lance Bass. Did I mention she's got on a hot little black outfit with a green jacket. She strips off the jacket and then Lance pulls a Justin and rips her tank top exposing her boobs (I imagine Billy Eichner is excited to see this). She blames him, saying it was his idea. To retaliate, she strips off his pants and exposes little Lance to the world. Of course this is all blurred... count your blessings.
Rocco Dispirito is forced to give away the "A-List Restaurant Award." He's not happy that he didn't make the list. Rocco, don't fret, you are pretty and a cheflebrity and that goes a long way. I might actually be able to afford to eat at your restaurants while I'd have to chop off a limb to afford these others. Daniel Boulud (who I only know from Top Chef) wins. Thanks people. Then he's done.