Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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The Sucking Is About To Commence

Back at Casa Griffin, Kathy and Adnan pose on her balcony and pretend to kiss where the paparazzi can get the pix. Kathy interviews that she'll check the blogs and such later, but her hopes aren't high because those internet bitches usually hate her. But we don't hate you, Kathy. E-mail Joe R. and you'll have at least one friend on the tubes. And then the horrible Adnan day is done.

Next day. Or so they would have you believe. Kathy, sitting at her iMac, calls Tiffany and Jessica over to her to deal with a P.R. emergency. It's actually not an emergency -- it's all kinds of great stuff online about her publicity whore day. Kathy thinks that Grammy voters who voted for Britney in the past will now vote for her.

Kathy pops in on her mom to take her to dinner. But she finds Maggie sitting there with Patrick, getting ready for dinner themselves. Apparently, Maggie lied to Kathy and told her she wasn't feeling well because she wanted to go out with Patrick and seven other gays. Who Maggie met at Patrick's birthday dinner, which Kathy also missed. Look, Kathy, if you neglect your gays they're gonna find another hag. Don't take your gays for granted. She actually looks genuinely upset and hurt. Kathy interviews that Maggie should just go live with the Bad Girls Club since she's turned into such a wild woman. Maggie puts on her trench coat and gets her walker and they head out.

Walking down the sidewalk to the restaurant, people eating on patios make hooting and hollering noises in Kathy's direction. Except they're really hooting at Maggie, as every gay man stops Kathy to tell her how much they love Maggie. They arrive at the restaurant, and all the gays greet Maggie and pretty much ignore Kathy. Maggie interviews that it was easy to steal Kathy's gays because they're all so nice and friendly. But Maggie is willing to share them. Kathy interviews: "My mother is drunk on power and wine. There's no stopping her. I'm gonna have to say she's worse than Hitler." Kathy tells Maggie that it's time to go, but she wants to stay, and tells Kathy that hunky gay Greg will see that she gets home okay. So Kathy, all dejected, leaves the joint and wanders home alone. Commercials.

Casa Griffin. Maggie is there, and Kathy tells her that she's there to do an interview with grandparents.com. For some reason, Kathy thinks this will appeal to the geriatric Grammy voters. I'm sorry, Kathy, but I think the Rolling Stones have cornered the market on that demographic. Kathy gives her some interview tips, one of which is not to be drunk and another of which is not to embarrass Kathy. There's some interview stuff with Kathy about Maggie getting a spinoff, and then a long and rambling story in which Maggie explains why she's wearing a band-aid. So then Kathy fetches the "reporter" from the website. Her name is Susan. She's there to profile Maggie as an Extraordinary Grandparent. Kathy tells Maggie to tell Susan about her recent purchase, so Maggie tells her about the fancy bra she bought. And then she shows off the lift and separation she's getting from it. The interview goes on, with Kathy constantly interrupting. Susan seems to get the whole shtick, and is completely unfazed by her Extraordinary Grandparent talking about hanging out with the gays she stole from Kathy.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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