Hey, it's the finale! Before we start, here is a bonus recap of the Joan Rivers Roast, which Kathy toastmastered: "Vagina vagina vagina vagina". I also got Kathy's album, which is about 40% discussion of Maggie. Except it's Comedy Maggie, who swears a lot. As opposed to the Maggie we see on the show, who just looks dismayed a lot of the time.
Tonight's thing is that Kathy's getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Kathy, Maggie, Tiffany, and Tom toast. Maggie's using wine, Kathy's got soda, and Tiffany and Tom appear to be using iPhones. Kathy gloats at Maggie about how Hollywood doesn't hate her after all, and how all the dick jokes were apparently a good idea after all.
The next day (as far as I know) Tom, Tiffany, and Kathy are walking Hollywood Boulevard to pick out what star she wants. Although she doesn't actually get to pick, so this is fairly pointless. Kathy wants to be very close to a huge star so people can accidentally notice her. She also wants to be very far away from Ryan Seacrest, who turns out to be one square away from Barbara Walters. Kathy spits on Ryan's star, but it's in the context of cleaning it. She also calls Seacrest a woman several times. Kathy assures Tiffany that her new life will involve waking up in the morning and cleaning Kathy's star every day.
A week later (do we need to know the exact chronology?) Tiffany breaks the news to Kathy that Bravo's nomination of Kathy was not approved after all. No star? The Hollywood Walk of Fame Committee has dissed Kathy to her face! On her own show! Kathy is naturally disappointed, especially because she's been telling people she's getting a star. Tiffany has called Kathy's agents and told them to fix it. And they've done the best they could, so Kathy will be getting a star on the Palm Springs Walk of Fame. Hey, my mom lives up there! Speaking of mothers (segue!) Maggie is not impressed with this solution, pointing out that it's not exactly the same thing. Harsh but fair.
Kathy thinks Ryan Seacrest did this somehow "because this is so something she would do." Kathy resolves to take revenge on the Walk of Fame itself: "I'm not even going to support the Walk of Fame anymore. First of all, I'm gonna go piss on it. I'm gonna go to somebody's star, probably Seacrest, and I'm gonna go have my period on it. And it's gonna be a heavy flow day! Yeah. By the way, it's probably comments like that that got me rejected. So I didn't learn my lesson at all." You tell 'em!