Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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Joe R: A- | 1276 USERS: C+
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Suck It, Jesus, Team Griffin Wants Crackberries!

Next up is a print interview at some fancy-pants tea shoppe. I say "shoppe" because, what with the lace tablecloths and brass candleholders on the walls, it feels appropriate. So while once again the interviewer is more interested in the local celebrity, in this case Tiffany, Kathy busies herself with the "delicious trays of lady treats" displayed on the dessert table. "Lady Treats" is totally going to be the name of my line of sex toys for the discerning modern woman. The reporter, Paul, isn't a fan of Kathy's and only knows what she's done via his meager, last-minute IMDb-ing. Way to ruin it for the rest of us who came by our knowledge that she played Sally Weaver on Seinfeld honestly, Paul. Kathy decides to treat the interview as a lunch instead, gorging herself on her lady treats. "Gorge yourself on our lady treats" is going to be the tagline for my "Lady Treats" line of sex toys. Paul looks on like a bewildered lump as the tea shoppe lady has to take away the dessert trays, lest Kathy eat herself to the point of exploding.

That night, some fancy-schmancy member of the Tracy elite throws Team Griffin (specifically Tiffany) this rather posh reception at what appears to be a villa. Guess the cows are sleeping outside tonight! The hostesses present Tiffany with a gift: a "Mr. Gucci and Mr. Prada," which both Kathy and I totally thought were going to be strippers, but instead were, like, high school kids who want to...court Tiffany? I don't know, it's weird. But I would totally support a Bachelorette-esque show starring Tiffany. Then, Kathy is presented with this tacky-looking bag, and inside the bag is a chicken. A live, rather frisky chicken. Working hard to shed that farm town image, eh, Tracy? So the chicken shits on Kathy's shoes, runs around the villa, nearly gets chased by a cat, and then some yahoo throws a pile of red cocktail napkins behind Kathy's back, to which she darts around asking, "Did it shed?" Afterwards, interviewing about the whole harrowing experience, Kathy hears a horse whinny and gets spooked anew. Way to scare the outlanders with your livestock, Tracy.

In order to recover, Team Griffin heads out to a local bar to meet up with Tiffany's friends. Tiffany and Co. can apparently really put 'em back, because the whole evening is one big round of shots (whoever thought of naming a shot a "blowjob," so that one might order a round by saying "we all want a blowjob" is a genius), many of which get spilled on Kathy's Chanel coat, for which she gets fake/real indignant. Kathy does pay Tiffany the ultimate compliment, saying that Tiffany could maybe hang with her mother, drinkwise. I smell a drinking contest for the season finale!

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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