Later, Bill complies with Jessica's earlier request to go to a shooting range. Jessica and Tiffany are psyched about shooting guns, to an unseemly degree. See what happens when you go to the Midwest? They're a half-rack of ribs away from becoming total stereotypes. Kathy gets freaked out by the kickback after firing her round. She notes that the gun recoiled almost back up to her "second nose." Tiffany's next and gets similarly weirded out. Jessica, who I totally thought would go all Angelina Jolie on this, acts like a total girl too. Only Tom is "gun-psycho" enough to run through a whole clip. ..."Clip"? Is that the right word? And the thingie you press on is called a "trigger"? Okay.
It's time for the show, and Team Griffin needs to sell 200 shirts in order to get their new Blackberries. Tom and Jessica sign a bunch of shirts, while Tiffany is very upfront with fans about their tech-motivated sales. Backstage, Kathy's dismayed that she's probably going to have to pay out those Blackberries after all. And those hugs and blowjobs.
Kathy's show starts, and she runs through most of Team Griffin's St. Louis adventure before getting to the important stuff: the Paula Abdul material. They keep cutting away to various reaction shots, including -- more than once -- this big fat guy who's there with his wife who looks barely amused to be there. Safe to say he probably didn't buy a t-shirt. After the show, Kathy utilizes her Billy connection and rides a police escort through the lobby of the theatre. She also reveals that while merch sales were up, they fell well short of the 200-shirt quote for Blackberries.
Now it's Tiffany's time to shine, as we're in Tracy, CA. Which...has a lot of cows, it seems. There's actually a shot of a tumbleweed rolling across a field, in case you were curious as to what kind of town we're in. Tiffany stresses that while all her friends were farmers, she was not a farmer herself. She and Kathy appear on a Sacramento morning show (via satellite) and end up getting crunk with the near-teenaged reporter and some hard-boiled eggs. Which is just how you party in Tracy, it seems.
Next up is a print interview at some fancy-pants tea shoppe. I say "shoppe" because, what with the lace tablecloths and brass candleholders on the walls, it feels appropriate. So while once again the interviewer is more interested in the local celebrity, in this case Tiffany, Kathy busies herself with the "delicious trays of lady treats" displayed on the dessert table. "Lady Treats" is totally going to be the name of my line of sex toys for the discerning modern woman. The reporter, Paul, isn't a fan of Kathy's and only knows what she's done via his meager, last-minute IMDb-ing. Way to ruin it for the rest of us who came by our knowledge that she played Sally Weaver on Seinfeld honestly, Paul. Kathy decides to treat the interview as a lunch instead, gorging herself on her lady treats. "Gorge yourself on our lady treats" is going to be the tagline for my "Lady Treats" line of sex toys. Paul looks on like a bewildered lump as the tea shoppe lady has to take away the dessert trays, lest Kathy eat herself to the point of exploding.