Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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Suck It, Jesus, Red-Faced Kathy Is Scaring Las Niñas!

Which: not a library. It's an empty storeroom with some desks piled up, broken windows and a falling-down ceiling. Kathy looks genuinely horrified, particularly when discussing the scorpions. Because, sure, there are some scorpions. How to fix this? How about a trip to "Los Costco"?

The trip to Los Costco is typically chaotic, with Jess riding in the shopping cart like she's five, Kathy hauling around big metal chairs, and all of Team Griffin kind of flailing to pick up some things the kids will like. Then it's back to the biblioteca for a monster cleaning session. Everybody's pitching in, including all of Team Griffin, Minerva, and a school kid named Cristián, who Kathy manufactures a burgeoning love affair with, not that he would know since he doesn't speak English and just wants Mala Roja to get out of his face already. Kathy interviews that this is effing hard and she shouldn't have made fun of Oprah. Though she doesn't recall seeing Oprah doing the cleaning herself, but she assumed she at least had Gail do it.

The next day, to Kathy's great relief, Woz shows up. She gives him a giant hug and almost immediately starts briefing him on the sorry state of the biblioteca. He's going to be donating four desktop computers to the room, and Kathy asks him if he feels a little like Steadman. Woz, predictably, asks who Steadman is. Kathy interviews that Woz should know who Steadman is. She knows who Louis Pasteur is! Same thing!

Teams Griffin and Woz head out to the school, and Kathy has Patricio ask some of the kids if they'd like to work with computers. It's more of the same aloof reactions, though Kathy picks out one girl who she thinks wants to speak up but is getting mean-girled. Kathy sees this girl as the quiet, picked-upon one who, say, grows up to become a vicious comedian and live in a mansion and make the rest of those girls pay. In case you didn't get the connection, the show superimposes Kathy's face on this poor girl's. Thank god none of these kids will ever watch Kathy's show. Kathy's boyfriend, Cristián comes by, and Kathy tells Woz he might have some competition. Of course, Woz knows enough Spanish to get Cristián to say that's not true. Woz, incidentally, calls Kathy his "amiga," which just reminds me that this is something of a TV relationship, and I generally don't like the fantasyland of My Life on the D-List punctured like that.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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