Paris and Kathy go into a store and Paris begins to tell Kathy what's hot. Members Only jackets? Again? Apparently I was stunningly fashionable from 1983 through 1987. As Kathy demands more tips, she notices that Paris keeps saying "Hmmm." and standing still. Paris explains that she likes to pose whenever she stands. Incidentally, there's a huge crowd of people surrounding them at about a 20 foot distance. Kathy and Paris get into a pose-off, which ends when Paris sees something shiny. There is a frenzy of shopping. Kathy is determined to shop just as much as Paris. Everything Paris is immediately echoed by Kathy, although without the "bizarre baby accent".
Suddenly! Jill, from one of those Real Housewives shows, enters and starts chatting with Paris. Jill also talks to Kathy about her concerts, and it's clear that Jill's plan is to get some camera time. And it works.
Paris's bill comes to $12,500, and the clerk calls her "Paris", which I think is a little familiar. When someone comes into your store and buys 12 grand worth of dresses, you call her "Miss Hilton." And probably don't make eye contact. Kathy's is $14,200, and she gets called "Katie." Ouch. If you're going to be on a first-name-basis with your customers, at least get that name correct. Still, it might be a nice change for Kathy, since it's usually her last name people screw up. Kathy emphasizes to us how her A-List moment got undercut by her name getting messed up. Also, she's a little freaked out about spending 14 thousand in one place. [Seriously, does Kathy have Paris Hilton money? - Z]
Back at Stately Griffin Manor, Maggie is having trouble with "the Faceplace".
Kathy and Paris go to another store (the place with the mudflap girl as the logo. Classy!) and briefly talk about Facebook. Then Kathy says that she needs a bathing suit that says, "I'm accessible, but you can't rape me." Paris explains that shopping is exhausting and burns more calories than working out. They check themselves out in the mirror and Paris has Kathy open her lips a little more. When Kathy takes it too far (as she is wont to do) by saying "Who wants a blowjob?" Paris looks disgusted and says, "I never do that. My mom always taught me only ugly girls need to go down on their knees and do things like that." Kathy looks taken aback for about half a second and answers, "Well then I'm not gonna do that or take it up the butt. It's disgusting! Who needs that? With the economy, no thank you!" Kathy interviews that she no longer needs to... look, this gets kind of graphic. There's a strap-on involved. I'm not sure I should tell you what she said. It was funny, though.