Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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New scene! Kathy is going to be going shopping with Paris Hilton! Tom and Tiffany enter with armfuls of weird pink clothes, which turn out to be Paris's actual clothes that Kathy somehow got from Paris's office. So Kathy wants to dress like Paris, which will make Paris like her and do coke and sex tapes with her. Then Kathy strips down (mentioning her "new sexy underwear", which isn't as baggy) and starts trying on clothes. Tiffany correctly identifies the first thing as "very Liza", so it's out. Kathy explains that she's not taking her bra off, and then practices getting out of cars and bending over so as to show off her crotch. This is an Emmy-winning show!

Paris poses on a Hollywood street with one of those really teeny dogs, named Prince Baby Bear. Kathy rolls up with Chance and Pom Pom. Paris tells Kathy she looks hot (TM), and Kathy tells her that she's wearing Paris's clothes. Guys rarely do that sort of thing. Paris is in the middle of a paparazzi scrum and Kathy wants to get some photographer attention. So she hikes up her skirt to show off her underpants. Mission accomplished!

Paris and Kathy go into a store and Paris begins to tell Kathy what's hot. Members Only jackets? Again? Apparently I was stunningly fashionable from 1983 through 1987. As Kathy demands more tips, she notices that Paris keeps saying "Hmmm." and standing still. Paris explains that she likes to pose whenever she stands. Incidentally, there's a huge crowd of people surrounding them at about a 20 foot distance. Kathy and Paris get into a pose-off, which ends when Paris sees something shiny. There is a frenzy of shopping. Kathy is determined to shop just as much as Paris. Everything Paris is immediately echoed by Kathy, although without the "bizarre baby accent".

Suddenly! Jill, from one of those Real Housewives shows, enters and starts chatting with Paris. Jill also talks to Kathy about her concerts, and it's clear that Jill's plan is to get some camera time. And it works.

Paris's bill comes to $12,500, and the clerk calls her "Paris", which I think is a little familiar. When someone comes into your store and buys 12 grand worth of dresses, you call her "Miss Hilton." And probably don't make eye contact. Kathy's is $14,200, and she gets called "Katie." Ouch. If you're going to be on a first-name-basis with your customers, at least get that name correct. Still, it might be a nice change for Kathy, since it's usually her last name people screw up. Kathy emphasizes to us how her A-List moment got undercut by her name getting messed up. Also, she's a little freaked out about spending 14 thousand in one place. [Seriously, does Kathy have Paris Hilton money? - Z]

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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