Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
HD is Not Your Friend

Back at Stately Griffin Manor, Maggie is having trouble with "the Faceplace".

Kathy and Paris go to another store (the place with the mudflap girl as the logo. Classy!) and briefly talk about Facebook. Then Kathy says that she needs a bathing suit that says, "I'm accessible, but you can't rape me." Paris explains that shopping is exhausting and burns more calories than working out. They check themselves out in the mirror and Paris has Kathy open her lips a little more. When Kathy takes it too far (as she is wont to do) by saying "Who wants a blowjob?" Paris looks disgusted and says, "I never do that. My mom always taught me only ugly girls need to go down on their knees and do things like that." Kathy looks taken aback for about half a second and answers, "Well then I'm not gonna do that or take it up the butt. It's disgusting! Who needs that? With the economy, no thank you!" Kathy interviews that she no longer needs to... look, this gets kind of graphic. There's a strap-on involved. I'm not sure I should tell you what she said. It was funny, though.

As Kathy and Paris leave the store to go to the pool, they take separate cars. All the photographers follow Paris. Incidentally, I think Paris is coming off pretty well here. She's letting Kathy leave the stores first so she can be in the pictures and playing along with Kathy's "No! Don't take my picture! I need my privacy! It's me, Kathy Griffin!" act pretty well.

Bonus commercial content! Maggie records a video for FacePlace, which features her waving and saying "Hello! Hi out there!" Won't that kind of clue people in that it's not Kathy?

Kathy interviews that she has no regrets at all about her plan to go poolside and be in a bikini next to Paris Hilton. None! Actually, when they arrive, Kathy shouts "We're here, bitches!" so it's not like she's trying to sneak around. Paris tells Kathy she should make an entrance, like what about the "We're here, bitches" didn't Paris get? Paris coaches Kathy on how to walk, sit on a cabana seat, and so on. Now it's interview time!

Paris likes LA more than New York, because New York is fun only during fashion week. She likes Paris Hilton more than Paris, France; Kanye West more than Kenya; Martha Stewart more than Rachael Ray; and cannot answer missionary vs. doggie style. Paris is embarrassed! She tells her mom not to watch. Kathy interviews that she's up for any sexual position including some she's making up right now. Like the "Angry Badger."

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List




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