A new season of Kathy Griffin? Hooray! Say, does anyone know if Joe ever got that email from Kathy he was begging for? That was a great gimmick, and it makes me sad that I have too much self-respect to steal it.
Okay, let's get moving. On with the carnage!
Kathy introduces herself with "What up, bitches!" Then she recaps the last season, including winning an Emmy, hanging out with Anderson Cooper, and Jessica leaving. So now we're down to Tom and Tiffany to absorb all of Kathy's, um, perfectionism. So Kathy is pretty much forced to admit that she's actually pretty famous, but she's going to do her best to appear to be a struggling nobody who desperately wants to be famous. This show is getting pretty complicated, when you think about it.
Workers are digging up Kathy's foundation. Of her house, I mean. Wait, did that joke work? I was trying to imply something vaguely dirty about the word "foundation", but I just realized I didn't actually know what I'd be implying. Oh well. Onward! Kathy is remodeling her house, which explains why it looked so different on that episode of Cribs. Did you see that episode? It also had Marilyn Manson's house. It's a tiny bungalow, apparently.
Kathy is freaked out about the whole process. She claims that two of the tile people got into a fistfight in the shower. As she and Tiffany walk into the living room, Tom and Kathy's mom are waiting. I assume Kathy's mom is just there because Kathy has decided that she's comedy gold. After making fun of Tom for not using a napkin (it's a construction zone! Surely we can set aside the Emily Post rules at least until the sawdust settles) Kathy tells Tiffany to get her a hotel "that's befitting an A-Lister", by which she means "on the cheap."
The hotel Tiffany has chosen is a Holiday Inn Express, and Kathy has Tiffany check her in under her Star Alias: Gayle King. As Kathy hides under ostentatiously anonymous shades, she complains about being at "The H.I. ... E. It's not even the H. I." and then makes Tiffany and Tom shield her from the nonexistent people and hustle her through the imaginary celebrity entrance. It looks like fun, actually. Next time I go to a hotel, I'll pretend to be a celebrity!
Kathy is at NARAS, the Grammy Headquarters. Tom is carrying her Emmy awards. Kathy's goal is to somehow get a Grammy nomination. Her plan is to join NARAS and immediately vote for herself. When the poor front-desk lady calls Kathy's appointment in, she makes the mistake of calling her "Kathy Griffith". Kathy pounces on this (pounces!) and makes Tom show the Emmy awards to demonstrate the correct spelling. When the NARAS person Kathy's here to see comes down, Kathy checks to make sure Lizzy knows that her last name is "Griffin".