Kathy's house, she tells us, feels like a fabulous and expensive day spa. It certainly looks amazing, but then again it looked great before, too. She claims that she's "grown out" of this house because it has only seven bathrooms and that people at parties look down on her because she's got just the one house. That's quite a stretch, because Kathy's house is quite obviously A-List. Did you know she paid for it with her winnings from Celebrity Mole? It's true! [And to think it's all done for charity nowadays... - Zach]
Tiffany and Tom aren't convinced that Kathy should have extra homes just because Madonna and Suzanne Somers have them. As Tiffany points out, Madonna has "Madonna money." Say, what do you think it's going to be like when Madonna dies? Wait. Never mind. That's a whole different thing. The point is that Kathy wants to get a second home where the stars live, which now means "Star Island" in Miami. Rosie O'Donnell, P. Diddy, and Gloria Estefan make it the hot new place. Kathy acts like Star Island is the hottest place in the world. Although she already lives in the Hollywood Hills, which is pretty snooty if you ask me. This is pretty stagy, even for this show.
Kathy is planning on going to Miami and surprising her close, close friend Gloria Estefan. We see her calling Gloria and Kathy's hair is much redder than usual. She might want to think about hiring a continuity person to manage her hair color and length for this show, because it's all over the place from scene to scene. Gloria's got peppy hold music, which I guess makes sense. When Gloria gets on the phone, she is not excited to learn that Kathy's coming to Miami and wants Gloria to put her up for a few nights. But she goes along with it, so Kathy adds that she has a rider: she wants hugs and empanadas. Kathy offers to entertain her or bring her stuff, but Gloria can't think of anything for Kathy to do. Kathy interviews (with the light practically-blonde hair) that Gloria runs everything in Miami and that she's like a female version of Al Pacino in Scarface. You mean Griselda Blanco? (If you've seen Cocaine Cowboys or just know a lot about Miami, I assure you that was a funny reference. Otherwise, please continue with the recap as though nothing had happened. Thank you.) Tom asks if Gloria will make guacamole, which Kathy claims is racist. Tom attempts to make a pun connecting "guacamole" and "Guatemala," but it doesn't really work.
Miami! Kathy tells us that she loves many things about Miami, but she especially loves what the humidity does to her naturally curly hair. And sure enough, her hair is not quite curly. But no time for that, because Kathy, Tom, and Tiffany are at Gloria Estefan's house! On Star Island! Kathy pretends that a passing helicopter is the paparazzi "like I'm Britney Spears going to the nuthouse. This is great!" Gloria shows everyone around and her house is very nice, although I don't think it's actually as big is Kathy's. However, Cher has stayed in it. So there's that.