Kathy Email Watch: It's a holiday week, so I can't expect Kathy to be sending strange recappers notes when there are illegal fireworks to be obtained.
Tonight's episode-starting stand-up focuses on The Bad Girls Club, a show I totally haven't seen every episode of. Much love is given to "Pop Off!" as a catch phrase. Kathy holds a company meeting to discuss her shows at Madison Square Garden (which were in January -- and for which I totally was not on the ball and failed to get tickets before they sold out). Kathy reminds her staff (and us) that she's been re-banned from The View after her Barbara Walters/Astroglide joke from her last Bravo special. Yeah, I kinda thought that might get her in trouble. Kathy's excited because it's her first re-banning -- plus, honestly, being banned from The View was always better stand-up fodder than being on it. Though I'd kill to hear her thoughts on Sherri Shepherd.
Kathy breaks the View news to her mom, who is unexpectedly fired up and pledges not to watch The View again... or any other show Kathy's been banned from. Kathy: "Well, it's down to Judge Judy." Maggie does advise Kathy not to talk about Barbara in her stand-up anymore, and that way she might get invited back. So that hardline stance of hers lasted about five seconds there. Maggie advises Kathy (not all that seriously) to kiss ass to get along, but Kathy quotes her dear, departed dad: "Fuck 'em!"
Kathy talks to Jess and Tiff about the dearth of publicity she's got lined up for the MSG show, and their bright idea is to get Kathy ordained as a minister and then have her officiate a wedding. Kathy worries about getting a God complex -- you know, like Oprah -- before she recognizes the possibilities of getting good with Jesus. Though she's not so crazy about marrying a straight couple.
To New York! Kathy shows off her swank new outfit (and kickin' new haircut!) that she was going to wear on The View and instead says they're going to Rosie O'Donnell's craft workshop! Tom's eyes bug out of his head (how's he supposed to masturbate to that?) and Jess and Tiff are totally like, "...Yay?" Kathy explains that she knows about this via Rosie's blog, since Kathy is totally modern and into vlogging (she imbues the concept of "vlogging" with every bit of scorn it deserves, too). Tom announces his hope to make macaroni art. I swear to God, he's special needs.