Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

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Suck It, Jesus, Kathy's Popping Off

Rosie then declares that it's arts-and-crafts time, but Kathy happily passes on those unpleasant duties to her assistants. Kathy tells Rosie all about Woz, and then Rosie makes Kathy promise to get her invited to the next TED conference. She says she'll give Kathy whatever she wants. Kathy's like, "Hold up, LET ME THINK!" because, seriously: anything. Kathy settles on getting to meet Cher (that's... not bad, actually), and Rosie's like, "Done." Kathy feels good about trading Woz for Cher. I would too.

Later, Kathy meets with Steve and Elka, the couple she's fixing to marry. They seem very nice, if a bit too eager to try and be funny in front of Kathy. They tell Kathy they want to be "married in laughter" (...sigh), and so they encourage Kathy to be as funny as she pleases. The only word that's off the table, we learn, is "titties." Which Kathy and I both find hilarious. Kathy thinks this is the best gig ever.

And now we're off to Brooklyn for a "Bad Girls Club reunion." Yay! In the car with Tiffany and Tom, Kathy expresses her desire to "pop off," though in a legit way, not a white-girl way. The plan is also to get Tom to disrespect one of the Bad Girls, so as to facilitate a popping off. They hit the bar and meet Tanisha, who is as delightful as I'd expect. Hanna orders a shot of Patron right off the bat, which I think means that Cordelia's gonna get one hell of a profane drunk-dial tonight. Kathy asks Tanisha for pop-off instructions, and Tanisha tries to get Kathy to pop off from her diaphragm.

After a commercial break, Hanna and Tanisha share tales of bad behavior, while Tom (whose chyron now says "On Thin Ice") takes a shot out of turn. It's not quite enough to get him popped off on, so Kathy and Tiff instead try to paint him as a terrible misogynist. So Tanisha and Hanna work themselves up into pop-off mode, but they're in too good spirits to really mean it. Hanna does, however, give Tom a hug that's laced with a nasty underarm pinch. Leave it to a Bad Girl to know the pressure points!

Kathy, her hair blasted out to '70s Jesus, goes over the prep for the wedding with Team Griffin. She says that while the ceremony is being officiated under whatever happy foo-foo online church ordained Kathy, it's also "a little Jewy." There's some confusion, then over the phrase "schein punim" ("pretty face") and whether it does or does not sound like "shaved pussy." I thought we established last week that "pretty face" meant "cunt features"? Some consistency, Kathy! She jokes about her insane Farrah hair, and in the car on their way to the church/barn where the wedding's happening, she mocks Team Griffin for burying their faces in their (new) Blackberries.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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