So Kathy preps to tape the PSA, all the while this guide dog foundation guy -- I had to rewind the episode just to learn his name is "Jeff," because he's now inserted himself into the action here -- keeps hammering on her about how she's being too preemptively naggy with the dogs. Whatever, Jeff, mind your own dogs. He even takes a disapproving tone when Kathy hauls out the Emmy as she takes photos with the vet. YOU'RE a shameless self-promoter, Jeff.
After the break, we see the dogs are totally coincidentally disrupting the Team Griffin meeting. Why, just after Kathy talked about bringing in Cesar Milan to whip them into shape? What a lucky turn of events! She tells Jessica to call up Cesar and see if he would consider getting over his tragic Emmy loss to Kathy and come train her dogs. "He trains people, he rehabilitates dogs," she clarifies, and when Jessica starts laughing at the idea of Kathy getting trained, Kathy threatens her with the hand-taser. More poorly-mannered-dogs footage -- Chance starts humping Pom Pom, for instance -- to which Kathy says, "Whisper that, Cesar!"
Kathy pays her mom a visit, where one of Kathy's "best gays," Patrick, has been occasionally keeping her company -- proving once and for all that tough, old broads over 60 are like catnip to the gays. Just ask Hillary. Anyway, that Dorothy Gayle-style blue checkerboard pattern on Maggie's couch is still an endless source of amusement for me, not least because my parents once upholstered one of their couches with that same fabric, I swear to god. Anyway, it seems Maggie and Patrick are having a hell of a time these days: out on the town, home for romantic dinners, acupuncture appointments. It's starting to weird Kathy out. "I'm starting to feel like they're Ashton and Demi," she interviews, "and I'm Bruce Willis." In the interests of driving a wedge, she asks Maggie if she's become acquainted with any of Patrick's homo-gay sex stories, but she says they don't discuss those things. Kathy and her mom are awesome, but I have to say Patrick is bringing nothing to this conversation. Besides a weird dark spot on his upper lip that could not look more like a Hitler mustache.