Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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Suck It, Jesus, Kathy's Feeding The Bears!

Back at the house, Team Griffin is preparing for their Learning Annex gig, and Kathy has invited Team Woz (i.e., Woz and his "Anal Retentive Assistant" Julie) to come help them out. Well, really, Julie helps them out, while Kathy and Woz head off with a roll of what are either $2 bills that Woz is joking one could use as toilet paper (because: rich) or else it's actual toilet paper made up to look like $2 bills. Either way, I'm kind of freaked out that he and Kathy just took off to a secluded room with it. Upstairs, Julie's brand of "helping" seems to be talking about how much busier and more efficient she is. She seems nice, though Jessica kind of bitchily interviews that she wouldn't have hung out with her in high school. They end up bonding over the respective fickle tendencies of their bosses, however, and now it sounds like Julie is going to be teaching the class with them. Elsewhere, Kathy and Woz share a giggle at the thought of the impending car wreck.

So cut to the seminar, and things are going well enough, Jessica says, until "trouble walks through the door" -- "trouble" being Kathy and Woz. COMMERCIAL!

So Kathy starts flipping her assistants off from the back of the room, while Julie tries to maintain some dignity and talk about managing stress levels. Tom, subtitled as always because he mumbles like a psychopath, says he deals with stress by not sleeping and pulling his eyelashes out. Speaking of psychopath! Kathy latches right onto this one, and she asks repeated questions to Tom about it. I don't think he's kidding either.

Someone asks Team Griffin about any nice things they've done for Kathy, which devolves into Kathy calling Jess on the phone and harassing her about never buying her any nice presents. Jess does mention, kind of sheepishly, that she was there for Kathy during the divorce, which I totally thought was gonna bring the mood down, but it didn't. Then Jess tells a story about Kathy losing a panty-liner earlier in the day. What's good for the goose, Kathy! Anyway, everybody seems to have fun, and no one asks for their money back. At least not on camera.

Back at the house, Cesar Milan has come by to train the dogs. Cesar looks way more like Benjamin Bratt's older, dog-whispering cousin than I expected him to. I was picturing someone more frou-frou, I'm not gonna lie. They joke around a bit about Kathy using the training on the people in her life, including her mother, and then about getting the dogs to walk on treadmills (...I don't know). Then Cesar starts eyeing the Emmy, which is course is displayed prominently on a table. Kathy interviews that she will use Cesar's lust for the Emmy to make him do her bidding.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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