Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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Suck It, Team Griffin! People Love the Emmy!

Props to Joe for doing a great job with this season, even if he never got that e-mail (yet!). Kathy, you should totally e-mail him. I can vouch for Joe. He's good people.

Standup opening. Kathy jokes that Oprah now gets to pick the U.S. President, and Kathy's fine with it, because it can't be worse than the last two elections. Word, Kathy.

Company meeting! Kathy meets with Team Griffin and one of the dogs. Have I mentioned yet that one of my dogs looks just like one of Kathy's dogs? I'm not sure if it's Pom Pom or Chance, though. Kathy informs her team that they are going to Walter Reed Medical Center to visit the soldiers who are in rehab after being in Iraq and Afghanistan. Jessica is worried that she'll cry, because they may see some pretty rough stuff. Kathy encourages them to cry if they feel like crying, and just be natural. Kathy is nervous about the show, even though she's performed for the troops overseas, because the people in the audience won't be quite so riled-up and rowdy. That is a tough crowd.

Kathy has the idea to bring her Emmy and let people have their photo taken with it. Team Griffin looks like they don't want to tell her that's not a great idea. Yeah, Kathy doesn't seem to get that, to the non-TV obsessed world, an Emmy is not that big of a deal. An Oscar? Sure. But an Emmy? Not so much. Kathy grabs her Emmy and Jessica and Tiffany are worried that she won't be able to take her Emmy through the airport because it looks like an Emmy. Kathy is sure that someone will want their picture taken and Jessica says that she and Tiffany will do it if no one else will. That's why she's a good assistant. Kathy adds: "I know that this isn't technically appropriate or even legal for me to say, but I need you girls to look sexy." Jessica and Tiffany: "[Giggles.]" Kathy: "...ER! I mean -er." Kathy talking heads: "There are some guys in there that don't have legs that might want to see some tits. Yeah, I'm a patriot. Let's see if they are." Jessica protests that she doesn't have cleavage, and Kathy counsels her to draw some in with blush, use chicken cutlets, and buy a new bra for her country. Seriously, Jessica. You're in Hollywood! Make boobs happen!

Kathy has a phone call with her contact at Walter Reed, who is the same guy that helped her out in Iraq. Kathy is concerned because Jon Stewart was just there, and she doesn't think she'll measure up. She decides to say that Jon Stewart is an insurgent, since she's never been on The Daily Show anyway. Yeah, what's up with that, Jon? Kathy tries to get a sense of what she can and can't say, but has a hard time getting straight answers, other than that there is certain language that isn't allowed. Kathy tells us that she'll break the rules if that's what it takes to make the people laugh.

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Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List

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