Kell on Earth
Highway to Kell

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Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
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Agent Saboteur

Equally scintillating, sorry to say, is this Kelly/Ava segment, where Kelly tells us once again how she makes time for her daughter. I understand the impulse to make sure the world understands you're a good mother despite being a workaholic, but a) she doesn't have to prove anything to be, and b) I kinda don't care. It is amusing to hear Kelly talk about showing up to the first days of Ava's school year all bedraggled from Fashion Week. But honestly? Back to the office, show.

Robyn's overseeing in-house preparations for the AP show, but the setup is increasingly not to Jess's liking. As we see Jess go on a relentlessly edited string of issues with pretty much everything involved in the setup -- including a constant request for "birdcages" that never gets elaborated upon -- Robyn gets increasingly tongue-tied. Like, where did this shrinking violet come from? Isn't she supposed to be Snow White with knives or whatever? Or is Robyn only able to be a heinous bitch when it comes to interns and first-year employees? Because at this point? I'd want Jess working for me instead, and it's not close. Jess ultimately wants to speak to Kelly about her dissatisfactions.

So Robyn calls Kelly and tells her Jess is running roughshod over the show. Kelly says give her a cocktail and she's headed right over. And because Kelly is awesome, she shows up and is like BOOM-BOOM-BOOM. "You: out front. You: at check-in. No crying. Move that. Touch that up." She explains that the client freaking out is expected -- they're "in labor -- about to give birth to their collection." O...kay? But whatever, it means that Kelly knows how to handle crazy fashion people, and somehow she manages to calm down Jess and her ENDLESS complaints about birdcages, and eventually, it's time for the show to go on.

And then, to the tune of "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy," walk a collection of beautiful but not too skinny models, each wearing increasingly complicated underwear. Spikes! Beads! Nipple cones! Kelly takes a moment to celebrate the feminine beauty on display at a show like this. "If God drew a picture of the derriere and put it in the dictionary, it would be of these girls." Kelly is, as ever, oh so quotable.

Robyn sums up the show as a great success, getting good notices from Women's Wear Daily and V and such. And most importantly, Jess was happy with how it turned out, and since she was the client, that's what matters. And yet, according to Kelly, they didn't get paid much for it. She doesn't really elaborate, which is odd.

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Kell on Earth

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