Kell on Earth

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The Prime of Miss Kelly Cutrone

So have you heard about this New Media thing? Kelly sure has! At least this week! With the business still just as sluggish as it was last week -- debtor clients are closing up shop and aren't able to pay People's Rev. Kelly despairs and says she wants to only represent the big clients now. She longs to represent Life Savers. Yes, the candy. They're a national brand and they've endured. (Michelle: "Wouldn't they melt on a runway?")

But as so often happens in this life, when we are at our lowest and worry about being able to make it another day, Donna Karan comes calling. (Though Donna Karan doesn't want to actually appear on a basic cable reality show, so we never see her.) DKNY wants to commission People's Rev to create a short film for a viral campaign. The film would be a promotion for their new wrap-sweater that they're calling a "Cozy". It's a bad name, but the sweaters looks nice. Anyway, DKNY is a huge client, but it's gonna be an assload of work.

Thankfully, that promise of heaps of work does not yield yet another episode about how overworked Stefanie Skinner is. Girl, I love you, but we got it. No, this week, Skinner and Andrew continue their non-romantic, common-law office marriage by planning a surprise party for Kelly's birthday. They want to do a dinner at the Carlyle, which is Kelly's favorite place on Earth. It seems they always try for a surprise party, but Kelly always sniffs it out. Skinner frets, "If she knows we're up to anything..." "...She'll rape us," Andrew concludes. Wow, already finishing each other's sentences? Andrew works on keeping Skinner's easily fray-able nerves in check, while Skinner interviews that they should celebrate not only Kelly the person but also Kelly the businesswoman who is currently "re-directing the company" into the brave new Facebooky future. It's a more confidence-inspiring statement than when Skinner later brags that Kelly is "re-inventing the wheel of what PR is." People, do we need to go over what that phrase really means?

Andrew and Skinner cut out of the office to go on a cake testing. They thought it would be a fun idea to say they're an engaged couple and get in an afternoon of free cake out of it. So off they go. Andrew puts one of his rings on Skinner's finger (from bended knee, of course), and Skinner suggests they should exchange pants (her jeans for his skirt). They have a lovely afternoon, and Andrew muses, "What better faux wife than Stefanie Skinner?" Indeed. Meanwhile, back at the office, the harried prep for the DKNY shoot continues. Kelly wants to burn "Native American soul stones of the seven powers" but can't find matches. She finally does ... and proceeds to harangue poor Tim for still smoking. Lady, you got balls.

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Kell on Earth

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