Kid Nation
Bless Us And Keep Us Safe

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M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
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God Help Us

So what's the Upper Class doing? They're in the Saloon, getting sprayed by a seltzer-bottle-wielding Greg. "There's nothing to do in town and a seltzer fight is just what we need," Taylor interviews breathlessly. Far be it from me to suggest that she's right, as long as you leave the seltzer in the bottle.

"I hate the Yellow team so much!" Sophia hisses to Morgan as they do dishes together. Right on cue, the Yellow team's Zach comes in and offers to help. The two Green girls gratefully accept. "I separate myself from the Yellow team," Zach interviews, and says that just because you can laze around doesn't mean you should. "I myself need to work the hardest," he says, whatever he means by that.

Showdown time. The kids all pull on their District uniform sweatshirts and cheer that they're going to be Upper Class. Well, almost all of them. Green has to be kind of realistic, after all, so they've set themselves a more modest goal: "I would like to see Taylor be a laborer," says Eric. Montage of each team cheering obnoxiously, followed by a smash-cut to Jared, slowly and gutturally informing us, "I am not the kind of person that does the cheering stuff. I...meditate." And then DK sits with him in the bunkhouse, watching Jared sitting in a bad lotus position and saying "Om." Suddenly, I'm finding myself wondering how Jared replied to Alex's survey.

As the kids gather on the showdown field in their color-coded anoraks, Jonathan lets us know that the religion thing isn't over with yet. He says that cowboys used to race horses from one church steeple to the next. But this is going to be a rather different steeplechase; specifically, each team has to assemble a giant jigsaw puzzle of a steeple on a huge, steeple-shaped tray. And then they use a wheel to crank the assembled puzzle to a vertical position. Above and beyond trying to see what happens when the Council is encouraged to hold a mass religious service, this seems like one more example of religious insensitivity. They couldn't have maybe supplied a puzzle of a synagogue for the Green team, which contains Eric and Sophia? A Hindu temple for Anjay's Blue team? A giant High School Musical poster for Yellow? In any case, the ranking of classes according to the order in which the teams finish will play out in the usual way. And that's even more true than they think right now. They have a half-hour to get the reward for the whole town. A half-hour? To put together puzzles? This must not be a very good reward.

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