Kid Nation
Bless Us And Keep Us Safe

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
God Help Us

To the Yellow team, Jonathan says, "Out of the Upper Class." All the other teams cheer at the decline in Yellow's fortunes. "Back to the kitchen," Jonathan adds. All the other teams look unhappy at this decline in their own fortunes. Including the Yellow team, if you can believe the nerve. "Thumbs down," Taylor says, as if this development is going to change her daily routine one whit. Jonathan prepares to reveal the rewards, claiming it's "instant gratification versus spiritual salvation." Sure, not to stack the deck or anything. Choice number one: a miniature golf course to go in the middle of the city. Choice number two (and here, everyone looks nervous, like they're about to see something good for them that they're going to get stuck with instead): a desk that holds a whole library of what Jonathan calls "holy books." And indeed, we see several Bibles, a Quran, a Torah, and the various Gods know what else. There looks to be a book for every kid in the town. Jonathan tells the Council to go take a walk to make their decision. The Council, to their credit, flatly refuses. They say they're putting it up to a vote. Wow, it only took them four showdowns to figure that out. There's some requisite yelling. Interestingly, Sophia's among the group hollering for the Bibles. "If you don't make the right choice, this town will fail just like it did in the 1880s," Zach drama-queens in an interview. Why can't they compromise? Take the holy texts, keep a few of them, and make their own mini golf course out of the rest. This isn't hard, people.

Back from commercials, the Council calls a vote by show of hands. The editors manufacture a dramatic pause before several kids raise their hands. And then when the book faction gets to vote, their rising hands are accompanied by angelic chimes on the soundtrack, as if the entire town is being bodily assumed into the ideal afterlife of its choice. Books it is, then. Laurel makes a conciliatory speech to the golf-voters, but says the town has spoken. In an interview, DK is philosophical: "Religious texts doesn't sound as much fun as an evening of golfing, but it's a chance to grow as a person." Tell that to your handicap.

The books and the kids relocate to the mess hall, where everyone digs through them. (The books, that is.) Zach and another kid (Hunter, I think, maybe) do a side-by-side reading of the Torah and King James versions of Genesis, respectively, and find that they're not so different after all. But let's see which of the two of them finishes his book first.

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Kid Nation




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