Kid Nation
Deal With It!

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
"I'm the village idiot? You're the village idiot!"

But since her job involves a lot of yelling, Taylor is absolutely in her element; she screeches out the names of the sheep with aces, mostly at Colton, who proves himself a natural. I suppose when you're staring down steers, jumping a sheep ain't no thing. Colton tackles a sheep, grabs the ace, and the yellow team is neck and neck with blue. But Blue takes the lead again, after Blaine grabs another ace. Laurel just about has a heart attack as she considers the looming possibility of scrubbing toilets during her entire stay in Bonanza City. Not to worry, though; when Jared, in a post-showdown interview, dejectedly says his team sucks, I think we get the idea who's bringing up the rear this time.

Colton snags another ace for the yellow team. Then the green team snags its first ace, followed closely by the red team. But this is a showdown between blue and yellow. On the yellow team, you have Cowboy Colton personally taking down each and every sheep he can get his hands on, while the blue team has the leadership of Anjay, which involves telling his teammates they're idiots. Colton gets his team's third ace, and the yellow team is going from the cookhouse to the penthouse.

Michael nabs the green team's second ace, but the best they can do now is third place, as Blaine finds the blue team's third ace (no thanks to Anjay, who has completely stopped yelling out any instructions whatsoever for his team).

It starts to rain, and by the time Divad has found the red team's second ace, it is not raining anymore. Five minutes, huh? Anyway, some slick editing does its best to make it look like the red and green teams have each found their third aces at the same time and that it's coming down to the wire. But it's really not, and Hunter delivers the green team's final ace. The team goes nuts, but I can't say I blame them. Whatever they have to do as the cooks, it's going to be better than scrubbing outhouses.

But there's still the matter of earning the town reward, and Jonathan can only stretch five minutes so long. Like, it can't be sunset when he finally gives in and says, "Thirty seconds!" Fortunately, Markelle delivers the final ace with five seconds to spare.

Jonathan tells the kids he knows they've been trying to institute a little law and order lately, and he wonders if there are any other areas of the town that could use some order. "The kitchen!" yells one of the members of Taylor's own team. Might as well yell, "We suck!" Yep, that's right, the kitchen, says Jonathan. So the first choice for reward is something that may help bring some order to the kitchen: a microwave. Just like the pioneers used to zap their vittles! But just so the decision isn't "totally boring yet practical" versus "super awesome fun time" again, the microwave (which is painted a dusty brown almost as if it were an antique Old West micro-wave) comes with a barrel of cocoa. "If we had a microwave, it would take a lot easier [sic] to reheat something," says Jared in an interview. Hee! I love Jared. The kids flip out, because, well, chocolate. The second choice? Forty pizzas. The kids react -- have you ever seen that Saturday Night Live sketch where Oprah Winfrey's audience is a bunch of spazoids flipping out? The kids are like that. There are kids fainting, and shrieking, and crying. Jonathan tells the council to go talk it out. As they leave, the rest of the kids shout their preferences: pizza seems to be the consensus.

But Taylor ain't about consensus; she says the pizzas will last them all of one day: "The pizza's what we want. The microwave's what we need," she says. Anjay's pro-microwave too, while Mike says they don't always have to pick what the town "needs," and he even makes air quotes when he says needs. Laurel's also pro-pizza, and tries to point how badly the rest of the town seems to want pizza. Tough noogies, is Taylor's opinion, as it's the council's job to make a decision. Mike wants to know what happens when the kids start moaning and complaining about the microwave. For Taylor's response, read yon episode title.

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Kid Nation




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