Perhaps God is pissed off at Taylor's lip, and decides to punish Bonanza City. I'd like to think that's why the dust storm suddenly blows in. The kids take cover in the various buildings, with some kids boarding up the doors. "It's a twister! It's a twister!" yells Jared as he runs down the street. God says: "Don't think the outhouses are clean enough, Taylor?" and the wind blows the outhouses over. When some kid runs into the saloon to tell the kids assembled there the news, the kids decide that checking out some tipped-over outhouses takes precedence over sheltering themselves from the blowing wind and sand, and run outside to have a look. "We don't have outhouses!" yells Jared. Nothing seems to excite this kid like disaster. Someone else yells that the stench is unbearable. It could be worse, though. Imagine the condition the outhouses would be in if the kids had gotten their hands on those pizzas.
The storm seems to grow stronger, and the kids, having realized that tipped-over outhouses look pretty much the way you'd think they'd look, run inside to escape the biblical friggin' wrath. Zach, who describes himself as someone who likes to take charge, hops up on the saloon bar to announce that once the storm blows over, Blaine, Greg and the other older kids will right the outhouses. Which they do, with Greg leading the way, team bandana covering his nose and mouth to filter the stink (it doesn't offer full protection, though, as evidenced by how Greg and his buddies still puke up a little bit after standing the outhouses up). In an interview, Laurel explains the conundrum that is Greg: "He tends to have attitude problems, but still, he's working hard, he's trying." He definitely has a shot at the gold star, she says.
So who's going to whine about wanting to go home this week? Cody, nine, from Ohio, tearfully tells Zach he can't handle the weather here. In an interview, Cody speaks of his desire to go home in the past tense, adding that he realizes if he goes home he won't see his Bonanza City friends again. Cody's the one who was hooting about how a man needs his root beer, like he's getting man lessons from his subscription to Maxim Jr.. So to see him crying because he got dirt in his eye is a little ironic. Then I realize I'm snickering at a homesick nine-year-old, and feel deeply ashamed of myself. Poor kid.
Mallory's another one wanting to hightail it home; she tells Divad she wants to go home. It's her birthday tomorrow, and she's never been away from home for her birthday before. Odds are, with thirty-nine kids, we'll see more than a couple of birthdays over the course of the show. Divad is great here; she basically tells Mallory to suck it up, but does it nicely: "Everybody has their moments that they miss, their friends and family. Especially at moments like this, when the wind blows your face off." And then there's Jared, in his bunkhouse, shaking the sand out of his blanket. "I hate that dust storm," he says. I don't imagine we're supposed to think Jared's going home. He clearly enjoys complaining too much.