Kid Nation
To Kill Or Not To Kill?

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M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
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For The Birds

Then there's a little time-wasting bit about how a couple of the younger girls have started a stuffed-animal day care center. You know, just like in the Old West. "Taylor likes to sleep in and so does her bear," Mallory observes. "What a coincidence." Dude, when an eight-year-old is calling you out, it's time to straighten up.

The Red District is busy running the Saloon when 11-year-old Colton from the Yellow team (and Nevada) comes in for a root beer. Which is when the Red team notices that one of their number is missing. Where's Emilie?

Colton goes and finds Emilie in -- once again -- the chicken coop, where she's tied the door shut again. Okay, that's just kind of sad. Even aside from the fact that she already capitulated on this, it's clear that she hasn't thought it through. Does she plan to stay in there for the duration? And if so, doesn't she realize that she's going to have to eat the chickens raw at some point? Colton is righteously offended at Emilie's flouting of the natural order of things -- that is to say, being in a place where members of the Red team are not allowed to be, in clear defiance of God and the results of yesterday's showdown. He runs and gets some other kids, one of whom yells, "Emilie, get away from the chickens!" like it's a hostage situation and Emilie's threatening to imbue the birds with immortality if anyone comes too close. Emilie does eventually come out, but not before Colton threatens, "I'm gonna grab you out of there, pull your toenails off, and hang you from the roof." I'm pretty sure he's exaggerating. If an adult said that, people would be freaking out, but one has to make some allowances for tween bluster. There's some age-appropriate sniping, and Colton gets in a pretty good burn on Emilie: "If you want to be with animals, go home." Emilie interviews that she's seriously considering exactly that. Unbroken wild mustangs throughout Nevada are like, "Noooo!"

The Council is having a closed meeting about who will get this week's Gold Star. Laurel tells us in an interview that the election has to be unanimous. And then we join the meeting in progress. Taylor goes on about how the whole town is impressed by Greg lately. In an interview, Greg -- sporting a nasty new scab on his chin -- says he needs the Gold Star because he has no money saved for college. You'd think that his résumé might include some Wall Street bond trading or something, but apparently that's not the case. Back in the meeting, Mike tries to veto Greg's nomination by saying that while Greg has improved, he only thinks he's doing it for the Gold Star. Anjay is clearly like, "…And?" But Mike won't let Anjay talk, pointing out Michael's success with the pump and the water-carrying. Which is a much better argument, frankly. And then we get a little footage of Michael pursuing his Aquarian duties and making a saintly little speech about doing the best for his community and not just the "Golden Star." Back in the meeting, Taylor points out, "[Mike] hates Greg!" I think the pageant girl nailed it. Anjay also thinks Mike's full of shit. But Laurel is on Mike's side with this one, pointing out Michael's team spirit. Mike latches on to that point, arguing that Michael doesn't say much, but when he does, "he always gets roaring applause." Taylor missteps when she says she hasn't seen Michael do much but fetch water, and even Anjay has to point out that that's pretty important. Try doing dishes without water sometime, Taylor. Scratch that -- try doing dishes at all some time, Taylor. Laurel calls for a simple vote. Anjay and Taylor vote for Greg. Mike votes for Michael, making Laurel a possible swing vote. "Michael," she finally decides. Anjay buries his head in his hands. And then the editors come through with a shot of Greg and Michael sitting together, panning from one to the other. Slick. Clearly the tape loggers on this show are not on the Yellow team.

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