Kid Nation
We've All Decided to Go Mad!

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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No More Bonanza

The Council returns. Michael stands and makes a little speech before naming...Sophia. Big surprise. Smart to get that out of the way. Sophia, at least, seems surprised as she stands to accept the award, and everyone claps. Her mom looks really proud. Sophia gives an emotional thank-you speech and goes back to hug her mom. She interviews about how flattered and happy she is. And suddenly battling emphysema, from the sound of her voice. Must have been a whole lot of yelling and crying the night before.

Greg gets up to announce that the next person has been a real friend to him and to everyone, and gives the second GOLD STAR to Morgan. She's in total disbelief as she walks the short distance from the front row to Jonathan, and her parents look amazed as well. "Balls tits cock!" her mom doesn't say. Morgan's speech is about how she doesn't deserve it, since she's been working less and hanging out with people more lately. Jonathan guesses that this GOLD STAR wasn't about hard work, and Greg confirms that Morgan brought the community together. Congrats on winning the slacker GOLD STAR, Morgan! Morgan's dad stands and thanks the Council. Greg in turn thanks Morgan's dad for letting them have Morgan in the community. Morgan's dad asks Greg how old he is, and he's taken aback when Greg answers 15. He says he has adult conversations that don't go that well. He thanks everyone (failing to add, "pussy asshole shit goddamn fuck," by the way), and Morgan goes back to hug her folks to much applause. Morgan interviews that this was one of the best days of her life, that the people in town make her feel good about herself, and that she feels like she belongs there more than she does any place other than with her family at home. She does not add, "Cocksuckers!"

Two down, one to go. DK stands up and talks about someone who has worked hard and has been constantly improving: Yes, it's Migle. The applause starts slow and builds even slower. Laurel in particular looks almost as shocked as Migle herself does. Migle's mom looks amazed, but her dad doesn't seem to react at all. He doesn't even crack a smile until he sees his daughter slowly rise and go to the front. They're from Lithuania, remember, so it's possible he doesn't have a great deal of English yet. It also makes it really hard for me to make a joke about how much Migle's parents look like a pair of Bond villains. Migle gives Jonathan a big hug and smiles back at her parents. She tearfully talks about how much this means, and Michael admit-erviews that Migle was the wild card. Wild card's one word for it. Some might say "dark horse." Some might even say "travesty." Not I, however. Michael goes on to say that she contributes "a lot of kindness to the town." Migle tells her parents that this is for them, and then heads back to hug them. She interviews that it means a better life for her family, and as she does so, she holds the star in her lap while she fidgets. This has the effect of making the star periodically reflect the sun in such a way as to blind me. $50,000 won't buy me new retinas, Mig.

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Kid Nation

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