Killer Women
Some Men Need Killing

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 11 USERS: A-
I Did It All For the Cookies
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

If you missed the first episode, all you need to know is that Molly Parker is a lady Texas Ranger and not an American Girl doll like we all thought. Also, she's doing it with this guy Dan from the DEA. And what do people do when they're doing it? They shower in their giant, Texas-sized showers together and shave each other's faces and make out before the shaving cream is rinsed off and get so wrapped up in it that they wear their watches in the shower. Yes, both of them are wearing watches, which prompts Molly to realize that they're running late, not that they wore their watches in the shower. God, love makes us do crazy things.

So they towel off and zip each other up, then head to another charity auction. They are so caught up in each other, dancing at this charity auction, that they fail to see the switchblade out in the middle of the dance floor. I'm caught up in this, too. Was Dan's hair always so fucking awful or did they decide he didn't look enough like a gross Jeremy Renner after the first episode? The dancing is interrupted by Jake, Molly's senator soon-to-be-ex-husband. He's there to donate to charity, one would assume, and to tell Molly he'll see her in court.

Jake makes a quick exit, and there is a scream as a man clutches his bloody throat and drops to the dance floor. A waiter is seen running out, and Dan and Molly pursue. But the waiter has run into the Twilight Zone, or some room where like, over 100 waiters are just milling around, holding trays. You know, that room that all banquet halls have? It's set up just like the castle in Neverending Story 2? Anyway, that's where they lost him … or was it her?! (It was a her. This show is called Killer Women.)

Molly quickly discovers that the ad for waiter decoys went out on Craigslist, and, interesting but unrelated detail, the waiters had to supply their own uniforms and trays. What kind of gig is that where you have to bring your own tray? A flash mob gone wrong. Molly's boss relates a story about a college kid who robbed a bank and disappeared into a flash mob of sanitation workers. The moral of this episode? People will do anything to participate in a "flash mob."

We've got another know-it-all male lieutenant on the scene, who doesn't mind the Rangers helping out since they were there on the scene. The dead guy (I guess he bled out, in the end), owns some crappy water parks. Witnesses saw "a waiter" but no one can tell the gender. They don't know this show is about Killer Women. Dan finds a fancy switchblade and probably does some medical examiner work on the side because he was quickly able to diagnose the cause of death and how precise the knife work was. I hate Dan and his stupid charity auction hair.

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Killer Women




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