Kingdom Hospital

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 455 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Physician, learn to shut your mouth

And now it's raining. This shouldn't be a problem for the giant car parked by a pier somewhere, as it is a certifiable land yacht. Unfortunately, the person in the car is listening to WOOO, the radio station that provides the inarticulate creepy soundtrack for your workday. We get a long shot of the car, which fails to be either ominous or illuminating. This show sure is fond of throwing in shots that tell you a whole lot of nothing.

Back in the cell, Rolf is standing up and checking outside the window again lest anyone catch him in the act of reading. The perspective switches to the bottle blonde in the car, who's whispering part of the Hail Mary before pulling out a sheet of either stamps or stickers. We switch back to Rolf in his cell, unfolding a heart-festooned sheet of paper and reading, "Dear Rolf -- I'm waiting for you, honey. I'll be there for you every single day, and even though I know you don't believe it, your lord and savior will be there too, waiting for you every day as well. I know you didn't do nothing wrong. And if you did? Well, it was for us."

Rolf begs to differ with a heartfelt "Rot in Hell, Harriet." Harriet continues via letter, "I'm praying for you, honey. And I love you soooooo much." Anyone else here got the feeling Rolf and Harriet may not really communicate all that effectively? Harriet adds a P.S. in a flirtatious whisper: "I did like you asked me. See you soon."

Rolf looks thoughtful, then peels something -- I can't tell what -- off the paper and sticks it in his mouth. The camera perspective switches to Harriet doing a Hail Mary as she licks something and sticks it to the paper. On the other end, Rolf licks his fingers. While I'm complaining about the shots and editing on this show -- I love how you can see stuff that makes no never-mind whatsoever (i.e. Rolf looking out the window), but God forbid the camera actually focus on any of the details that might come in handy later.

It appears to have stopped raining in Harriet's neck of the woods as she finishes plastering the paper with stickers/LSD-impregnated stamps/whatever and knocks off a few more lines of the rosary. She then picks up a framed photo of Rolf, tells him, "Okay, baby, I'm coming," over the sound of the rain (I know…), and puts some little white pills on the picture while excitedly repeating that she's coming. Back in his jail cell, Rolf takes off his glasses and snaps the earpiece neatly. Out pop some more white pills. Wait -- his glasses double as a pillbox? Where do you get those? My Oliver Peoples frames barely stay on my nose -- forget about storing my allergy meds in there. I feel all ripped off now. At least, I would if I had actually paid for the frames, as opposed to my insurer doing it for me. Harriet lovingly takes the pills. Rolf takes his like he's on a dare. Harriet lies back and smiles as the water continues to run down the windshield and those damn kids keep "aah-eee-aaaah-eeee-oooooooh"-ing in the background.

Kingdom Hospital

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