Kingdom Hospital
Goodbye Kiss

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Physician, learn to shut your mouth

Or maybe we'll find out that Abel and Christa are graffiti artists. They're sharing a can of spray paint and decorating a car as the punks across the street grin in friendly approval. They all wave to Abel when he waves. Awww, such nice hoodlums. Abel and Christa laugh. Vandalism is fun!

Drs. Stegman and Hook are waiting in front of the elevator bank, and Stegman huffs, "Patients and doctors expected to share the elevator. Ridiculous! It's not that way at Boston General, I'll tell you that." Stegman seems like the kind of guy who would spend a lot of time telling his current girlfriend how she fails to behave like his ex-wife. Hook whips out a passcard and summons an elevator with one swipe. Stegman looks shocked. Hook hands it over with, "I got it from housekeeping. Keep it." Stegman clambers into the elevator, looking indignant, and we hear Hook ask as he walks in, "Don't they have mag cards at Boston General?" Heh.

Another elevator opens up, and we see Bobby wheeling his momma out as she thanks him, telling him she's very tired. He clucks, "At least you made contact with the little girl, Momma." Mrs. D corrects him, "Well, it sounded like a little girl, but I'm not sure it was her." Bobby wants to know who she talked to; Mrs. D say she doesn't know, and she's scared. Bobby doesn't care much for this kind of talk. Where are Abel and Christa with the mumbo-jumbo about the bad boy when you need them?

Stegman charges on by the nurses' station, and Carrie flags him down to tell him Mrs. Klingerman's been cooling her heels for a while, thus having more time to brood about how Dr. Stegman ruined her daughter. He grabs her and tells her to come along because she can help "by listening. I find in conversations like this, it's best to have an impartial witness."

In the Klingerman room, Renee's trying to feed her daughter, a task made more complicated by Mona rocking back and forth. On the bright side, at least catatonic people are less likely to pose the question, "Can I absorb these nutrients dermally?" and then proceed to answer it at the dinner table, unlike the majority of infants and toddlers who are being spoon-fed. Anyway, Steg comes in and gets off on the wrong foot by trying to introduce himself, since Mrs. Klingerman's aware that a) he is indeed the Stegmanator, and b) he's late. Stegman apologizes with, "I'm sorry. Things came up. We don't have enough qualified doctors to go around, unfortunately." Nurse Carrie takes this all in with wide eyes. Stegman tries for jocularity by cribbing Dr. James with, "And illness…sucks, as a friend of mine likes to say. How's Mona doing today? Sweet little Mona." Well, it is difficult to be petty and spiteful when you spend all day rocking back and forth in a trance. I could probably manage, but I have years of deplorable character in reserve against such a medical emergency.

Renee continues trying to feed Mona while saying tightly, "She used to be an A student, Dr. Stegman. Did you know that?" Stegman broadcasts to everyone in the room -- even Mona, who has more supernatural demands on her time --- that he's about to cover his tuchis with the most inflated excuse ever: "I wanted to offer a few comments and observations on your daughter's surgery." Renee turns around and says, "Her face is the only comment I need. She used to be an A student. Now she can't eat, she wears a diaper. God help me, I almost wish you had killed her instead of only ruining her!" Mona's giving everyone a creepy look here. Dr. Stegman looks acutely uncomfortable as he clucks, "Please, Mrs. Klingerman, we mustn't be so negative. Mona does have a long road ahead of her, but she is alive. And, uh, in time, with the proper rehabilitation, she'll be able to learn a great deal." He then smiles, pleased at having recalled several key phrases from Things To Say That You Won't Regret Later When They're Read Back During Your Malpractice Trial.

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Kingdom Hospital

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