Black Magic Woman

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
Black Magic Woman

The hotel. Miguel, looking pissed, calls Zambrono. "Did you find out what happened?" he spits. Zambrono's walking around his ranch in Tijuana, feeding his many, many dogs. "It's crazy. I can't find out who gave the orders," he lies. "I don't know what the hell is going on." Miguel snaps that Zambrono used to lie more effectively than this. Zambrono knew what was going to go down, Miguel theorizes. "Where was Pepino? The dog? The good-luck charm that you insist on bringing with you everywhere you go? You didn't need luck that day, because you set it all up," Miguel says icily. Zambrono yelps that he did no such thing! "And even if I did, what are you going to do about it?" he asks. Miguel announces that Zambrono is going to be handing back all of the Cadena's stash within the next twenty-four hours. "Oh, you can see into the future now?" Zambrono asks snidely. "Your future? Yeah. I can see it very clearly," Miguel snips and slams down the phone.

Miguel and Chato hang out in the gun locker, as I'm sure they are wont to do. Miguel asks whether Chato believes in prophetic dreams and visions. Chato fiddles with a machine gun and says that he doesn't believe in ghosts, but he's seen one. "Have I told you about the cat?" Chato asks. Miguel shakes his head. Chato tells him a little story. See, ten years ago he found a stray cat, and he took it in and took care of it. "I named it Queso," he says. And if I didn't know they filmed this months ago, I would totally claim that as a shout-out. Chato continues, telling Miguel that he loved the cat and the cat loved him. It would lie on his chest and lick his chin for half an hour. Half of the television audience sighs dreamily. "Anyway, one day Queso got run over by a car," Chato says as he picks up another gun and strokes it lovingly. He explains that that night, he woke up and found Queso at the foot of the bed, glowing. "Glowing?" Miguel asks. Chato nods, and starts playing with yet another weapon. Every time he woke up that night, the cat was there, he says. "I can't imagine why you never told me that story before," Miguel says sarcastically. "Like I said, I don't believe in ghosts, but I saw one," Chato shrugs. He advises his brother to pay a little more attention to Lupita.

Night falls at the Zambrono ranch. Chato and his men go through the dog yard and shoot all the poor little puppies dead. Crazy sexy Chato at least gives Pepino the old Sex Eye before doing him in. Aw, well. No incest this week, but a little bestiality does the trick, eh? Yeah, maybe not.

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