Kingpin

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B+ | 508 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Pilot

Bandit and Delia get out of the car to meet the informant, who's sort of small and weaselly-looking. "That's a Mexican state cop?" the Bandito asks, but Delia is all, "Shut it," and greets the now dripping informant, "Rafael," who insists on embracing her. "Let me make you wet," he says. Ew. They hug, but Delia pulls away as soon as she can manage it. She gets right down to business. "So, when can we set up the meeting?" she asks. But Rafael wants to talk about El Bandito -- whose name, it turns out, is Patterson -- and how he looks far too young to be in the DEA, and so on and so forth. Delia really doesn't want to talk about stupid greasy Patterson. She wants to talk about Miguel Cadena. Rafael shrugs that Miguel isn't going to talk to her, and that she really doesn't want to talk to him either. "He's the #2 man in La Corporacion," Delia reminds him. "That's what he thought, too," Rafael shrugs, before explaining that now Tio Jorge has left the country, there's a new guy in charge. "El Huevudo." Rafael doesn't even know his real name. Delia wonders how this new guy can be calling the shots if neither of them has heard of him. Rafael shrugs, and says that he's willing to meet with her, anyway. "I told him I had two Texas cops that are willing to protect all the merchandise moving through El Paso," he says. Delia cocks a brow as Rafael explains that he vouched for them. "I would do anything for you, mi amor," he tells her. This scene, by the way, represents some of the most unromantic use of the words "mi amor" ever put to screen. Why do I think that there's not going to be a lot of smoochy-face action in this show? Delia looks newly perturbed and tells Rafael that she doesn't want to meet with some guy she's never heard of. "You said Miguel answers to this new guy?" she asks, hesitantly. "El Huevudo. Mr. Big Balls," Rafael tells her, then grabs his own sack and starts waving it in Patterson's direction. "You know, huevos, huh? Do you have some huevos, there, huh?" he asks. That is...unspeakably charming. Anyway, Delia tells Rafael that she wants to meet with Miguel or Chato, and that's it. Rafael shrugs that Chato's off with Tio Jorge, and Miguel doesn't want to pay American cops. "I guess he's used to buying his police real cheap," Patterson drawls. Delia turns to him and rolls her eyes as Rafael goes into this whole "Was I talking to you? I do not think I was talking to you! If I'm talking to you, you'll know I'm talking to you" routine. He sounds like one of the gay thugs on Seinfeld. You know, the one who stole Elaine's armoire and then threatened Kramer at the AIDS Walk? Yeah, it's not real threatening.

Kingpin

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