Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!

And with that, Chato takes Miguel into a room full of half-dressed, very languid girls, smoking opium. A floating opium den! That is so the work of Aaron Spelling. I bet he's been trying to shoehorn an opium den into something for years! "Could Brenda and Kelly get kidnapped and sold into the opium trade? No...How about Amanda? Would Amanda Woodward maybe open an opium den in Allison's apartment while Allison is in rehab? Probably not...I know! The Camdens discover that Ruthie is going to an opium den instead of soccer practice! No, that's all wrong....Hey! I know!" Yeah, so, Miguel is appalled. "How long has this been going on?" Miguel asks, looking at his unconscious uncle. "Last three weeks, he's been chasing it non-stop. There's nothing else to do out here," Chato says. Tio Jorge is passed out in red silk boxers, on red silk sheets, in the midst of the girls. Yet another delicious Spelling touch. Miguel looks concerned. "Chato, why didn't you tell me?" he asks. Chato shrugs that he knew Miguel would only worry.

Back on dry land, Hank is visiting Delia at the hospital. He sits and asks her how she feels. "Boss...I'm sorry," she whispers. He tells her that this whole mess is his fault. "I didn't believe in this operation from the get-go. I wanted to stay focused on Jorge Perez." In other words, it's his fault because he was right? That does not resemble our earth logic. Delia blinks plaintively. "I walked him right into it. I got that kid killed," she says. Hank gently takes her hands. "Patterson died a hero's death," he says. "We still don't know what happened to the rest of his body." Delia makes a perplexed face, and Hank explains that "they only sent the head. Sent it to the U.S. Embassy in Mexico City with the ID in its mouth." That's what I'm talking about! Severed heads! Tigers! Weird, V.C. Andrews-esque brotherly love!

Back to the Floating Opium Love Shack of Love and Drugs. "I don't want it to be over yet. I don't want this business to fall apart," Miguel tells Chato, smoking a cigar. He says that they're trying to arrange for Tio Jorge to come back home. "But that can't happen if we're murdering Americans. It's insane," he says. At this, Tio Jorge stumbles into the living room wearing his smoking jacket and reeking of the demon poppy. I never get to type that sentence recapping Dawson's Creek! He asks what Miguel is doing on the boat. "I wanted to see how you're doing." Tio Jorge rolls his eyes. "How I'm doing? How the hell do you think I'm doing? Out here, away from my rancho, away from my ¿familia?" La Familia Count: four. Chato prompts Tio Jorge to tell Miguel that he's happy to see him, and Tio Jorge grudgingly does. They all sit down.

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