Kingpin
Pilot

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Pilot

Cut to Barranquilla, Colombia, where Miguel and his adorable moppet son, Joey, sit in the stands of what looks like a minor-league baseball field, watching guys shag fly balls. Joey truly is darling and, thus, is probably going to get kidnapped at some point. Enter some other dude, who hugs Miguel warmly. Miguel introduces Joey to "Don Carlo" and suggests he ask if he can run around the bases. "Sure, you can run around the bases," Don Carlo says. Joey and three bodyguards/flunkies go off and run around in circles. "I hate my life," one of the bodyguards mutters. "I like the kid, but all this running in circles is killing me" the other one responds.

Up in the stands, Miguel and Don Carlo talk shop. Miguel offers that "Tio Jorge" loves his boat, although he misses his family and friends. "Your uncle's a great man, Miguel. It's a shame he's on the run." Don Carlo exposits, then assures Miguel that "everything's gonna work out fine." Miguel gestures with a cigar and gingerly mentions that he's "teaching the business to [Tio Jorge's] son, Ernesto." Don Carlo looks out onto the field -- where Joey and the guards are still running the bases -- and asks if Ernesto is the one they call "El Huevudo." Miguel wonders if Don Carlo has heard of him. "A few things. A little bit," Don Carlo says carefully. Miguel offers that Ernesto has a lot to learn. Maybe he can spend some time in Colombia with Don Carlo? "Someone like you can teach him a lot," he says nonchalantly. "You could teach him the business from the bottom up, in the coca fields, you know what I mean?" Don Carlo snorts. "Nice try, Miguel. You want to dump him on me?" he asks, laughing. "There's no way." Miguel's like, "Dammit!"

Cut to the dusty banks of the Rio Grande, where two DEA agents wait for their informant. You can tell that Delia, the woman in the driver's seat, is sassy and tough because she's not wearing any lipstick. The other agent -- a man with greasy hair and an enormo-chin -- most recently appeared as the Bantering Bandit in an episode of Dawson's Creek in which Joey was mugged and then sang "Close to You" to her mugger while he was in the hospital (having been hit by a car) until he died. And I'm not making that plot line up, people. "Here he comes," Delia says, as a guy slogs through the river to get to their side of the border. They watch him walk through the water, as the Erstwhile Bandit yammers on about his grandfather, the bootlegger. Delia rolls her eyes at his little story, then tells him that she thinks she had better do all the talking. "You don't say a word. You understand?" she asks.

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Kingpin

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