The Odd Couple

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Jessica: A | Grade It Now!
The Odd Couple

Excellent! Viewer discretion is advised! I love that!

Previously: drugs and stuff.

We open in a lovely formal restaurant, where Marlene and Miguel are having a romantic "Thanks For Letting Me Come Home From Rehab/Sorry I Got So Mad About Your Drug Habit" dinner. Marlene tells Miguel that she's had a lot of time to think and she really, really, really wants to put the past behind them. "I know I have to stay clean, Mickey. I won't be a problem," she tells him earnestly. Miguel smiles at her. "I had a crazy thought," he says. "Let's have another baby." Marlene tilts her head and looks at him, and then starts laughing. That is a crazy thought, seeing as I suspect they're all about to be blown to kingdom come. Besides, who knows what crazy voodoo Wacky Lupita would work on an infant? And speaking of Lupita, what ever happened with that Blood Painting she was making of Miguel? Perhaps we will find out on Tuesday. Anyway.

Behind Miguel, Hector the Head Bodyguard spies the Chief of Police (whose name, I now know, thanks to the miracle of properly working closed captioning, is Lazareno, not Serrano. Sorry about that) and his wife, the overly chatty Ariella. "It's the perfect time for us now. We've always kept that possibility open," Miguel is telling Marlene as Lazareno and Ariella arrive at the table. Miguel shakes hands politely, but doesn't seem particularly enthused to see either of them. Ariella tries to hustle her already drunk husband to their table, but has no luck. Instead, Lazareno takes a seat with Miguel and Marlene and asks his wife what the harm is in having a glass of wine. "I'm sorry. My husband's already had too much to drink," Ariella tells Miguel, who shrugs. Lazareno just pushes Ariella into a chair. "What's the harm in having one glass of wine with our friends?" he asks. "My uncle sends his regards," he adds, sneering at Miguel. Marlene shoots her husband a cautionary look. "Give the senator my best," Miguel says evenly. "My uncle can remember when your family was nothing but a bunch of small-time criminals," Lazareno snipes. Miguel says nothing, but sets his jaw. "Smuggling tequila into the United States," Lazareno says, continuing his jaunt down memory lane. "Your family -- they were simple, ignorant people. They didn't wear Armani suits, like you," he says. Because accusations of boot-legging are one thing, but impugning someone's sartorial tastes is entirely another, Ariella steps in yet again and tells her husband to cut it out. "Marlene, we have to go," Miguel announces, standing up. "We do?" she asks. He raises his brows at her. "Oh, yeah." Marlene stands and slides out of their booth. "So soon?" Lazareno drawls, as the Cadenas leave the restaurant. He removes a flask out of his vest pocket and takes a swig. Ariella just sighs. Poor Ariella. To go from incommunicative but dreamy Chato to incommunicative and greasy Lazareno is a horrific step down.

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