Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1 USERS:
Butterfly Effect

Outside, Queen Rose is looking through various cars (or rather, having the hired help look through cars) for her stupid phone. She makes a big show out of saying that she knows she gave the phone to her Whore Aide (which is, coincidentally, the fundraising concert for prostitutes coming up next month, headlined by Bill Mahar and Charlie Sheen). Jack walks outside, still pissy, and Rose hugs him and then listens while he bitches and moans that David got the job he should have been given. Rose blames the lack of promotion on Jack's nighttime habits. Jack reveals that there are rumors that the ambush and hostage-taking was his fault, but it wasn't, and he seems pretty sincere about that. He begs his mother to talk to his father to avoid Jack being court-martialed. Rose claims again that she doesn't get involved in politics, but then advises Jack to let the court martial happen, because he'll be exonerated and the military will shower him with honors because of their guilt over falsely accusing him. So in case you didn't already figure it out, the queen is totally a player in this monarchy. She just does it passive-aggressively.

On a television in the castle, we see a news report that Dead Man Walking was actually Dead Man Jogging, since he "dropped dead" of a "heart attack" while "jogging." Read between the lines. Meanwhile, David calls his mom and says he won't be coming home as he thought, and advises his mom to turn on the TV for an explanation. Of course, as on all television shows, the TV is on exactly the right channel when she flips it on. How do they do that? Whenever I call my dad to tell him something is on (he lives in another city), we have to go through the whole, "Turn on NBC! I don't know what number it is where you live. NBC! I don't know the call letters where you live. Don't you know what NBC is? The same channel that Law & Order is on!" And also, my dad and I both watch many hours of television each week, and Law & Order is the only show we have in common.

Anyway, David starts in on his first press conference, and he's all self-deprecating and asks them to take down the picture of him taking down the Goliath tank. He reads a statement that Gilboan troops are launching an offensive. King Silas and his Minister of War/Personal Assassin watch from a nearby room. The MOW/PA thinks David is terrible, but Silas tells him to wait. David goes on to defend Jack's actions during the ambush, curse on live television, and then use the podium as a means to try to get into Michelle's pants by forwarding her health care agenda. Also, and I know this is going to shock you, Dylan Baker is lurking in the background. And in looking him up to make sure I had his name right, I found out that he's married to Mrs. Weir in real life. How did I not know that before?

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