Ramsay pays a visit to Joe's wife at their nice and large and very white home. Ramsay jogs upstairs to meet one of Joe's three boys, Evan. "Nice to meet you -- girlfriend's name?" Ramsay teases. Aw. Back downstairs, Ramsay gently tells Melissa how much her husband sucks as a businessman. Melissa tears up and cries, and Ramsay says in a complete monotone, "Please don't get upset. I don't want you to get upset. Please." Maybe in a bathroom now, where Melissa has access to Kleenex or toilet paper or something to stanch the snot, Ramsay continues to talk to her about how in debt they are and how it can be turned around. The camera peers in through a cracked door to make us think we're illicitly listening in on a conversation on a reality show. Ramsay slaps Melissa a few times on the knee and promises to help them.
Ramsay is back at the restaurant and ready to straighten everything out. He tackles the restaurant's food presentation and cooking techniques, and grants them a signature dish: the meatball. I searched for Ramsay's meatball recipe, but wonder if he hasn't gone off them lately. You know, because of the brûléed balls. However, I did find a recipe for a meatball I know and snarf down at A16 in San Francisco. There's not a lot I love about A16 (except their new sister restaurant, SPQR) but they do know how to make one fine ball o' meat.
Ramsay wants Campania to become famous for their meatballs, and even has the staff out working the streets. He gets them a new van, emblazoned with "Campania: New Jersey's Best Meatballs" (Seriously? Who underscores anymore?), and the same on tee-shirts, which should prove interesting for the ladies, and has them handing out free meatballs to all passersby.
Finally, Ramsay sits down with Joe (again, some more) and gives him some hard facts about his restaurant's finances. He even says that if Joe doesn't shape up, his business will "fucking swim down the Hudson." Next, he tells Joe to "stand strong" and not take it personally.
The next day is the relaunch and the restaurant's redesign. It has brand new signage with curly-cues and fleurchons and stuff around the name (it matches the signage design on the van), all of which you can see blooming on the restaurant's website. The sidewalk in front of the restaurant's entrance is covered with a carpet that has large red squares surrounded by light brown borders -- very Scando-chic -- and there are also topiaries and black benches. It's very stylish and attractive for a strip mall. The staff squees and cries and jumps around. The squeeing continues inside when they all discover…candles? Again, it's hard to tell from the before-and-after shots we get what really changed. Ramsay also gave the restaurant a brand new stove and smaller plates to go with the smaller portions, but there's no word about the walk-in with the flapping door. Ramsay sits down with Gene and Joe and presents them with a new simpler and more concise menu. Regarding the almost-famous meatball, Joe has decided, "If people start bitchin', the meatball's going to come out of the kitchen [do you see what he did there?], and hopefully that will appease them." One last thing -- Ramsay decides to motivate the waitstaff with a contest. He wants every item on the new menu sold, and the first server to sell one of each wins $100. Oh, and they shout, "BINGO!" when they do it. Because they are all named Agnes and Ethel and Dot.