Kitchen Nightmares
Finn McCool's

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Keckler: D | 2 USERS: A+
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Finn McCool's

After the commercial break, we are still with the retching and coughing and it's getting so that I'm about to vomit myself from sheer suggestibility. Hopefully having brushed his teeth first, Ramsay yells at Brian for being a chef who can't even make a fucking shepherd's pie. Brian explains his shepherd's pie creds to us: "My shepherd's pie was taught to me by someone who learned it from somebody who went to Ireland. You know, it's an American Irish pie." That's the story? No ancient grandmother named Angela? No potato-famine tale that ends with everyone in Tipperary miraculously surviving on one shepherd's pie? Just "somebody who went to Ireland"? And Brian didn't even learn from that traveler; he learned from someone once removed from actually going to the motherland. Also, to use "it's an American Irish pie" as some sort of excuse, like it's fusion, is totally bogus unless he actually did something to the damn pie that made it an American take on an Irish classic. Like, putting French fries instead of mashed potatoes on top. I guess that would make it Belgian, though. I don't know. But you know what I mean, right? The only thing that makes it an American Irish pie is that an American made it. And that's just stupid.

Back to Ramsay's rants. He says the shepherd's pie tasted like cough syrup and that the salmon was so overcooked, it was like eating tuna from a can. I love how Ramsay pronounces "tuna" as "tchuna." Brian tells us that Ramsay has no idea what he's talking about, so he doesn't care what he has to say.

Ramsay goes to scare up a new segment by walking into the local fire department to quiz the firefighters about McCool's. None of them are very impressed with it; in fact, they seem to hate it, given how they hesitate when Ramsay invites them to eat there as his special guests.

Back at McCool's, Ramsay decides we weren't grossed out the door far enough with his loud and replayed retchings (did you catch how they echoed so melodiously in the bathroom? Great acoustics in there) and shows us all the nasty food the restaurant's walk-in and pantry has to offer. Once more we get rancid beef; pre-cooked, tough chicken; a huge hank of congealed and deep-fried bacon (which is so foreign-looking, we get a chyron telling us, "Bacon"); and lots of barrels of slop. Ramsay grins as he finds one clean thing in Buddy's office, one of Ramsay's books. Oddly holding eggs in his hands that never get cooked, Ramsay orders the Brothers McMullen to clean the kitchen up. Jason bitches that since he didn't make the kitchen dirty, he shouldn't have to clean it, but he does. Buddy and Brian complain that they thought they were pretty clean.

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Kitchen Nightmares

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