Kitchen Nightmares
Olde Stone Mill

Episode Report Card
Michael Neal: B- | 4 USERS: A
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Olde Stone Mill

Customers begin filing in, including some slim thing of a blonde who looks incredibly out of place. The mayor arrives. Who knew the mayor would show up on such a fine occasion as this? He even looks like a mayor. You know, not like the mayor of Newark, but maybe the mayor of Punxsutawney. He doffs his hat and takes a seat. Voice-Over Man informs us that there are many special guests in attendance. Again, we are treated to our third shot of the Stepford blonde, wearing a black one-piece, seated before her meal. If she trained her steely gaze upon Tom, would he spontaneously combust? He's shaking like a leaf, the poor guy. As serving begins, we get a montage of how nervous Tom is, ending in him spilling a drink on a customer. Ramsay takes him aside for some tough love, asking him to dry his eyes and come back as the manager he's supposed to be. Jeanie's holding up only slightly better, at one point snapping "let's go" at a party of eight because they weren't walking fast enough. Ramsay reminds her not to treat customers like cattle. Get it right, Jeanie. It's not Outback Steakhouse. Tom's back! He's...sweating like a pig. Again, Ramsay has to remove him from action.

In the kitchen, Chef Mike is dealing with a technical problem. The computer that prints out each table's order is not working. Because of it, he's getting backed up. He's always getting backed up! Luckily Dean is there to say something condescending, then immediately walk out on the problem. Hungry customers grow more restless by the hungry minute. The mayor sits idly by, perhaps worrying that this little dinner invite was just what he suspected -- a clever ruse set up by his rival, Assemblywoman Amy Paulin, to assassinate the MAYOR OF TUCKAHOE. Dean comes by to reassure him that food is on its way, and I think I see the mayor flinch ever so slightly.

Dean is back in the kitchen now, screaming at Chef Mike to get going with the steaks. This time Mike shouts back! They go back and forth in a nuanced exchange. Topic: Whether or not the order receipt machine is working properly. It's Socs vs. greasers in there. The computer is broke! Read the ticket! The computer is broke!! Read the ticket!! Outside, the mayor stealthily draws up a last will and testament on his dinner napkin. Break for suspense.

I'm so sick of them shoving Orbit gum down my throat!

We go back to the screaming in the kitchen. Ramsay has had enough. He steps in, huddles the troops up, and gives an impassioned speech straight out of a bio-pic about an IT professional. "Let's get this thing back online," he says, and suddenly the staff of the Olde Stone Mill Restaurant & Bar Steakhouse is all in agreement. The printer mysteriously begins to work. Tom takes control in the dining hall. Chef Mike is no longer backed up. And Dean schmoozes more inventively.

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Kitchen Nightmares

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