While waiting for his food, Ramsay pulls at the rotting wallpaper and crumbling walls and tsks under his breath. His food comes out and, as expected, it's not a hit. The chef swears he makes the crab cakes himself, but he also admits to freezing them, which doesn't go down well with Ramsay. Neither do the crab cakes. He determines that the lobster ravioli are soggy and have a "strange taste" inside. The salmon is likewise awful. Finally, Ramsay finishes the meal with one of Mother's homemade Greek cookies. Mother is certain Ramsay will say he's never had a better one. The cookies are those round powdered sugar numbers that are called either Mexican Wedding Cookies or Swedish Wedding Cookies or, apparently, Greek Cookies, depending on what continent you're on. Ramsay blows at the powdered sugar elaborately and chokes on it.
Next, Ramsay observes the dinner service and sees lots of unhappy customers barely making do with nearly inedible and sometimes cold food. Moving to the kitchen, Ramsay can see that neither the chef nor the sous chef give two shits about the food they are cooking, and they seem to care even less about the customers. One of the chefs spills tomato sauce on the floor and doesn't bother to clean it up, which boggles Ramsay. He takes Motherboy aside and asks how he can pay these guys to work there when they clearly can't do their jobs. He demands to know why Motherboy can't say something to the chef. Instead of yelling at the chef, Motherboy quietly gets a mop and cleans it up himself. This does not please Ramsay at all. Motherboy spreads his hands and says, "I'm used to doing it?" Ramsay needs to take a breather from Motherboy's timidity, and walks off.
Since we avoided this last week, I forgot that I shouldn't have anything in my mouth -- liquid or solid -- during this portion of the show. Upon inspecting the kitchen, Ramsay finds rotting meat, grime on the oven hood, scum on the walls, and moldy pesto. At one point, he puts his arm over his mouth and swallows back a gag. It's the next day and customers have started showing up for lunch, but Ramsay pulls Mother and Motherboy aside and slams Mother's claim that they got a 95 from the Board of Health. Oh, I'm sure they got a 95 from the Board of Health. In 1967. After showing Mother and Motherboy just what muck lurks in the heart of the kitchen, he blasts Doug, "How dare you cook me a lunch out of this kitchen!" Fully acknowledging the festering filth, Doug has the gall to be pissed off about "another chef" getting in his face about his kitchen. He is so fired. Ramsay finds a bag of dog food in the walk-in, but it's okay because it's the "fish bag," whatever that means. Ramsay reaches in the fishy dog bag and pulls out a hunk of loosely plastic-wrapped pork. Leaving aside the fact that there is pork in the dog food fish-bag, let's talk about what's growing on it. I'm not sure how they got there, but there are orange pustules sticking to the bottom of the cold hank of meat. Ramsay sniffs the meat and says it smells sour. "It's probably sour on the outside," Doug shrugs, later telling us that the hunk of pustule-encrusted, sour-smelling pork was his personal meal. His tone implies, of course, that Ramsay had no business finding fault with it. I'm sorry, "sour on the outside"?! Is that what CIA teaches you? Retch. Finally, Ramsay pulls out the moldy pesto that was served with his salmon at lunch and shoves it in Doug's face. Again, with the shrug in his tone, Doug says he didn't see the mold on the pesto. Amazingly, Doug does admit that he was humiliated by the pesto incident and that it was "unforgivable." Enraged that Motherboy purports to clean the entire kitchen -- including the walls -- every Tuesday, Ramsay forces Motherboy to touch the walls and feel the creeping scum. "TOUCH THAT YOU DIRTY PIG!" he screams.