Kitchen Nightmares
Secret Garden

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Secret Garden

Next, Ramsay goes over the new menu, and again, the staff loves it, but Michel is sulking about his old crusty dishes. Ramsay gives the staff a quick pep talk about that night's service and tells them a food critic is coming. Michel is nervous because he's not in his comfort zone. Dinner gets underway, and Miss California suddenly shows up. I wouldn't worry. I'm sure she doesn't eat much. Michel continues to be nervous, especially when a busload of (presumably) drunk wine tasters shows up for dinner. Ramsay keeps exhorting the kitchen not to panic. Oh, but they will. There will be panicking tonight.

Things move along fairly competently, but then the FOOD CRITIC shows up. Jane spots her, tags her, and serves her. The FOOD CRITIC -- who is subjected to highly unflattering angles from an overhead camera that make her jaw and nose look lantern and hook, respectively -- samples the tuna ni├žoise and coughs at how overseasoned it is. To be fair, she actually looks like she inhaled her water or that something went down the wrong way. I can't think how overseasoning -- unless it's an excess of pepper, like in Mrs. Doubtfire -- would make someone cough in that way. The overseasoning comment that the server gets out of the FOOD CRITIC is that the tuna was too salty. The server passes this info back to the kitchen, and the news makes Ramsay swear but it elicits quite a different response from Michel. Instead of admitting that it was his sodium hand that profaned the tuna, he snaps into his old mode and offers the FOOD CRITIC his blue cheese-stuffed beef by way of reparation. See, Michel blames Ramsay for the salt-heavy dish, saying, "Come on -- that's his food, he's the one sending it out!" However, just in case we have any suspicions, the show gives us a flashback within the episode to show Michel (over-)salting the tuna. As soon as Michel trots out the dreaded doilies, Ramsay starts to squawk. They argue a bit, and Michel tells the cameras again that Ramsay is not a chef. Ramsay trudges out of the kitchen, and we finally get some beefcake. Ramsay strips off his coat, gets into his civvies, and walks back to Michel's kitchen where they get into a HUGE fight. In about twenty seconds, Ramsay incurs about fifteen bleeps. Michel orders Ramsay out of his kitchen, and Ramsay tells him that if it's his fucking kitchen, he should fucking clean it.

However, Ramsay doesn't get much past the commercial break before he decides that he can't leave the rest of the staff -- the servers, the cooks -- in the lurch. He goes back to the restaurant (already back in his chef's coat, no less) and tells Michel they're going to make it work. Michel agrees. Ramsay insists, "I just want everything be fucking perfect." Michel agrees. Ramsay tells Jane to dump the old, doilied beef in the trash, and they send out rack of lamb from the new menu. The food critic proclaims it perfect, and that happy news reaches the kitchen. However, Michel is still skeptical, so he roams around the dining room to listen in on how his diners are reacting. They all love the new menu, which means Michel has no more excuses to disagree that Ramsay is and will always be the king of cuisine. However, Michel still cross-examines the hostess about what the customers told her -- they told her they loved the food -- but then sees that he made buckets of cash that night. NOW he's convinced.

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Kitchen Nightmares

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