House

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Knight Fail

Hadley protests that she and Foreman already checked the place out, but House insists on taking a look. Oh, no. The apothecary is there, and he won't break character. "I cry your pardon, sir," he says. House holds up a jar and asks what's inside it. "Why, that's lavender!" Apothecary says with his silly fake English accent. "Try rose hips," House says. Oh, snap! You just got out-apothecary'd! "Who cares?" Hadley asks. House does, because if the apothecary can't tell his lavender from his rose hips, then who knows what else he's labeled falsely in there. He holds up another jar. "Be nothing but St. John's Wort," Apothecary says. WRONG! It's black cohosh. At this, the Apothecary drops the act and the accent and says this is his uncle's shop and he's just an apprentice, so wouldst thou please stop busting his balls? House ignores him for a bunch of hanging plants, which he rummages through until he comes up with a few root vegetables. He asks the apprentice to identify them. "A wild carrot," he says. WRONG FOR A THIRD TIME! "It's hemlock, you embossed carbuncle," House says. Hadley and Apprentice both look horrified, because hemlock is kind of poisonous. Especially if you eat big chunks of the root because you think it's a carrot. In fact, water hemlock like what we see in the apothecary shop is the most poisonous plant in this continent. Which is why House probably shouldn't be touching it with his bare hands, but whatever. Also, WHY ON EARTH WOULD A REN FAIRE APOTHECARY SHOP STOCK THE MOST POISONOUS PLANT IN ALL OF NORTH AMERICA?!?!?!?!?! House's next question is has anyone purchased any of his wild carrots. Apprentice says he sold but one branch, and that was to King Miles. "The only part of the environment you didn't check -- the people living in it," House says to Hadley. Yes, that and THE INCREDIBLY TOXIC PLANTS DANGLING IN PLAIN SIGHT PRETENDING TO BE CARROTS.

Without bothering to change, House and Hadley run into the waiting room area and find King Miles and Shannon. House immediately accuses Miles of poisoning Sir William, calling him a "royal anus." He holds up a sample of the hemlock, and King Miles is confused, as he thought they were wild carrots. House and Hadley tell Miles to bring the truth before Sir William dies and he's a murderer. King Miles admits to buying the hemlock for that stupid gross food challenge, but denies knowing it was actually hemlock. House doubts this, saying if that were true then all of the knights in the food challenge would be sick, not just Sir William. "Why would I want to hurt William?" Miles asks. "I can think of at least one reason," Hadley says with a pointed look at Shannon, like this situation isn't complicated enough right now. King Miles swears he's telling them the truth. Right, so, for the gross food challenge he made his knights eat pig ass, cow eye, and a dreaded VEGETABLE?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

House

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP